Wicked dogs don’t want to work, and a depressed pretzel watches as Nike Women just do it!

When the Caricaturist was stuck inside her computer for three long days and three long nights, she spent most of her waking hours interacting with her files and folders. While there were many files that had to be “exterminated”, there were some that were saved. One of these files had some funny Search terms that had brought people to my blog in the past six months.

Here are some that I thought I must share with my sweet readers. I’ve added my first reaction to the term along. You are welcome to share yours :)

Search Term 1: Caricatures of wicked dogs

Huh?! Wicked dogs?  Really? Wicked DOGs? WICKED dogs? I don’t know of any, and I’ve known more dogs than humans. Excuse my brutal honesty, but wicked is an adjective that applies exclusively to humans. So, dear searcher, I am not sure if you’ll ever succeed in your quest. Even if you are able to find a caricature of a so-called wicked dog, I assure you that the subject of that caricature never existed – and so, such a caricature would be a work of fiction.

Search Term 2: Don’t want to work cartoons

Now this searcher has my complete attention. “Don’t want to work” is the stable human state. You know about stable states, don’t you? “Want to work” is the exact opposite state of “Don’t want to work,” and unfortunately “Want to work” a highly unstable, extremely volatile state to be in. If a person stays in “Want to work” state for too long, he or she might become explosive. I hope that this searcher succeeds in his or her quest of truth.

Search Term 3: Justin Beaver

Yep! Justin “Beaver”. It’s so much more meaningful than that other surname that he uses…Bieber or something.
Beaver, according to this Wikipedia entry here is: “a primarily nocturnal, large, semi-aquatic rodent.” Makes a lot of sense, especially to the Crabby Old Farts. While I am not sure about the “large” and the “semi-aquatic” part, I’d accept “nocturnal” (as it applies to everyone connected with the music industry) and “rodent” (check out his hair!)

Search Term 4: Depressed Pretzel

An oxymoron. I can’t believe that a pretzel can actually be depressed. This search term doesn’t make sense to me – unless the searcher was in fact looking for my Toony Pretezel about Loneliness and Depression. Hey Presto! Here’s the said Pretzel!A Toony Pretzels Cartoon - A take on Facebook Depression - Defining Loneliness - emails, facebook, twitter, blog - Depressed Woman.

Search Term 5: Nike women just do it!

I disagree. I think Nike women are a lot more discerning. They don’t just do it…they do it properly. But what would I know, I am an Adidas woman. Nike women are welcome to comment.

Search Term 6: How to draw someone holding a pencil in mouth

Easy! Draw someone and then draw a pencil in his mouth!

Search Term 7: Handsome Caricature

Hmm… Let me see. A handsome caricature…? I think I should point you to my Caricature Gallery. All my caricatures are handsome enough… at least they look handsome to me. It’s the same old reasoning that makes the Rhino-mom think that her baby rhino is the cutest kid in the universe…if you catch my drift.

Search Term 8: Brainy Kid Cartoon/Studious Girl Cartoon/Genius Caricature

Hah. You are looking for portraits…not cartoons or caricatures, my friend! Just get a photograph and you are done.

Search Term 9: Handsome Indian Men Naked

How many times do I have to tell you, my dear searcher o’mine blog? For Indian men, handsome and nakedness don’t go together! In fact, handsomeness and Indian-ness seldom goes together. We are some of the smartest people on planet Earth (and we are smart enough not to let people know that we are,) but we aren’t really “handsome” or “beautiful” – and we aren’t talking about the exceptions who prove the rule. (One exceptionally creative Italian lady would like to mention a few names here. She will try her best to discredit me, but then I ask her – has she seen those “handsome” India men naked? Ever?)

Search Term 10: Indian Nudes

Oh, c’mon! The only Indian artist who had the guts to have herself photographed naked and then paint some naked self-portraits was Amrita Shergill, and she couldn’t have done it if she were a commoner or even completely (and I mean it in the genetic sense,) Indian. Her mom was French, and Indians are quite forgiving of the lapses by semi-firangs (semi-foreigners.) And yet, something drove Amrita Shergill to commit suicide at the young age of 28.

 We have come a long way since then…my friend. Now we don’t even dare to think of doing “terrible” stuff like that. Stay safe, my friend, stay safe!

For some inexplicable reason, if you are interested in reading more SEO Humor (humor? Really?) posts, here are four other loony posts that I made in the past.

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19 comments on “Wicked dogs don’t want to work, and a depressed pretzel watches as Nike Women just do it!

  1. Shafali – climb out of that file cabinet and have a cuppa tea. We all have to hang in here. That sense of humour will land you firmly on your feet.

    I now have my Mac and know what? When I go to the App Store and key in your fab new app “Hypnotoy”, there is no response. Is it Apple or me? It’s gotta be simple, right?

    • Hi Amy,
      I am out of that virtual cabinet. A bit groggy though (or why else would I conjure up “meaningly”?!)
      Hypnotoy isn’t for the Mac App Store. It’s built only for the iOS devices, and so you won’t find it in the Mac Store. Mac Development is a bit different from iOS development, and we haven’t developed it for the Mac App Store…yet. Keep an eye for the Christmas update – Hypnotoy goes musical with two new Holiday themes. I hope you enjoy it :)
      – S

    • Thanks for stopping over, Joleene. I guess anything’s possible and the searcher might’ve been a dog-lover looking for cool dogs with shades, sitting in cabanas, sipping champagne; but as a caricaturist I tend to look at the seedier side :)

    • I must add that my colleague saw my calendar with his drawings and said “He’s not Indian! He must have European ancestors/grandparents”! Does he?

      • Barb, most North-Indians have at least some Aryan blood. As you move towards the Northern states of India, you have fairer and taller people with sharper features. Punjabis belong to the north and they are, in general, beautiful. Punjabi women lose out to Dravidian women in softness of features, but they win on complexion…and in India being fair is almost equivalent to being beautiful. Now, Hrithik’s dad is a Punjabi and I think his mom is definitely an Indian. While most of his ancestry is easy to trace (and is Indian,) I’ve no idea who his mom’s mom was…so I can’t say whether she was a European. He gets those green-eyes from him dad, who was a Punjabi and completely Indian.

      • No I was right. She didn’t know about that. I have read somewhere that Aryans came from India. She probably isn’t a history buff like me and you! ;)

      • Aryans came “to” and not “from” India, unless we are talking about Millions of years ago, because the first upright human happened to be an Indian and that too a Punjabi…a Mr. Ramapithecus Punjabicus!

    • I don’t get his nose! Honestly. He gets it from his dad, and with each passing day, he looks more like his dad…and Barb, every now and then his muscles and six-pack abs disappear and he gets flabby…

      • Actually, the muscles and six-pack are the things I like the least of him, to be honest. I never liked pumped up men (we had Arnold “Conan” Swarzenegger and Dolf Lundgren in the 1980s), in fact when he’s too pumped up, I’d like to tell him “Hrithik, please, more dance and less gym, thank you!!!!” :)

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