The Caricaturist’s Hitlist… Across Time:)

A Happy post across time:)

Writing to you from 1961. It’s the America of John F. Kennedy’s time and everything appears to be as it should be. Last night, I prepared a short list of people whose caricatures shall be posted on this blog very soon:)

Here are they:

I haven’t decided the order yet, nor have I decided not to add more names to this list. I want to stay in the past for as long as I can…and so there may be a few more.

See you soon with a caricature from the past!

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This September – I travel into the past once again!

Most of the regular readers of this blog are aware that this caricaturist is obsessed with Time Travel.

This September, I shall take another trip into the past. I shall break my journey in the medieval Europe, the post-independence America, and the pre-Cold-War USSR. I will, of course, be updating the blog on a regular basis and so you can expect to see faces of people who helped shape this world into the chaotic amorphous mass of humanity that it is now.

I can hear loud gasps of disbelief from the well-meaning friendly visitors of this blog. “Not again!” “This caricaturist is crazy.” “She doesn’t know what’s good for her.” “She’ll kill herself on this trip.” “We’ll never see her again.”…and so on…and I can also hear an occasional sigh of relief lined with hopes of a better, caricature-free tomorrow, “Who knows, her Time Machine may develop a fault once again, and she may not return at all,” and “medieval Europe? She’s an engineer – she’ll be burnt on the stake for being a witch. Thank god for small mercies!”

Whatever it is – my dear readers, I promise to return. I am carrying enough fuel for three round-trips and if at all a never-before encountered fault occurs in my Time Machine, I’ll browse the web for its solution. I have also subscribed to a five-year pre-paid Internet plan, and so I’ll stay in touch with you, and continue to update this blog regularly 🙂

Aaargh!

Did you hear that?

Oh well. Disregard and Discard!
See you soon 🙂

What Happened to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Panties?

This post doesn’t fit this blog, yet when it comes to things that don’t fit, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties win the show.

Before we discuss Rosie Huntington-Whitley‘s panties, we should first identify the lady in question. Rosie HW is the replacement of Megan Fox in the newest Transformers flick called Dark of the Moon. She’s 5 feet 9 inches tall and with her vital stats at 34-25-35 and her weight at 54 kgs, she’s the thinnest thing that you can witness in heels. In the Dark of the Moon she towers over Shia Labeouf who though equally tall looks like a dwarf beside her, primarily because the poor guy isn’t allowed those fancy six-inch needle-point heels that grace the spindly legs of this particular Victoria’s Secret model.

Those of you who’ve seen Dark of the Moon would vouch that one of the most interesting scenes in the movie was the first scene, in which the camera focuses on a thin-but-firm panty-clad butt undulating on the screen as the owner of the butt sashays up the staircase. The staircase has a lot many steps, and if I recall correctly, at least two turns. All this time the camera faithfully follows the butt and those tiny pair of  panties that work really hard to cover it. At the end of her apparently endless ascent the lady descends upon the sleeping form of our hero, and it’s then that we see the face of the lady and wonder – what the heck? But then a cute butt doesn’t always equal a cute face (and vice-versa) so we let it go, and try to concentrate on the movie.

But then Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties return to challenge my reason. They make me wonder.

What happened to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties, after the scene was shot?

I am really, truly, even pathologically serious about finding an answer to this question, as the curiosity is killing me. And…before you ask…NO. I don’t want to buy them. Actually, you couldn’t even pay me to take them. This discussion is merely conceptual and is driven by the insatiable curiosity of an insane caricaturist.

Here are a few possibilities that come to my mind.

  1. The panties were given to Rosie Huntington-Whitely as a perk for running about on those wicked (ouch) heels.
  2. The panties were given as the weekly wages to an extra who worked in the movie.
  3. The panties were used to wipe the grease off  Bumblebee‘s engine.
  4. They were incinerated after the scene was shot.
  5. The panties were auctioned off to the male actors/employees and the identity of the buyer was kept a secret, because he had a jealous wife.
  6. The panties became a property of the director/producer.
  7. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley got them framed and gifted them to Shia Labeouf as a parting gift.
  8. They were rented for that particular scene, and were returned to the costume company after the scene was shot.
  9. The panties indeed belonged to Rosie Huntington-Whitley and she wore the same panties home after the shot.
  10. The panties were used to clean the camera lens for the next shot.
  11. When Rosie Huntington-Whitley jumped upon the sleeping Shia, they split and had to be thrown away, later to be salvaged by the janitor, who auctioned them off on eBay.
  12. The panties were returned to Victoria’s Secret and they secretly sold them off to an Indian celebrity who didn’t receive them in time and had to…well, go panty-less to a charity event!
  13. The panties were stolen by the mice-family and they made them into a mattress for the baby mice.
  14. The rumor-mill is also abuzz with the rumor that the panties were painted upon Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s marble butt, and they got washed away when someone spilled their glass of wine on them.
  15. Put up for sale in a Japanese panties vending machine? (Suggested by Nirnif.)

I know that I haven’t been able to cover every possibility, so I welcome your creative thoughts, and

I ask you, my valued reader…
What happened to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties, after the scene was shot?

Caricature/Cartoon – Shia LaBeouf wondering whether the Transformers are really worth the hassle?

The caricaturist presents a colorful yet confused Shia LaBeouf.

caricature-cartoon-painting-portrait-of-hollywood-actor-shia-labouef-transformer-disturbia-colored

Down the Memory Lane:

Where do I begin? With his transformation through Transformers or with his disturbing Disturbia? I think I first saw Shia LaBeouf in the first movie of the Transformers series. He looks a lot like the boy who used to live in my neighborhood – in another lifetime. I didn’t like that boy a lot. I thought he was a lot dumber than me (and he reflected the sentiment towards me.) He ended up running his father’s paint shop, a task that doesn’t require you to be a genius, and I ended up poking fun at others – so effectively both of us turned out to be right.

But I’ve digressed from the topic completely. That neighbor-o-mine isn’t the topic of this post, Shia LaBeouf is. So let us talk about him.

Shia LaBeouf’s Scanty Biography:

Shia LaBeouf was born on June 11, 1986. He began working as a Standup Comedian at the tender age of 10 (BTW, he used to look really cute as a child.) He played Louis Stevens on Even Stevens. His first movie was “Holes” in  2003, which was followed by Disturbia (A remake of the Rear Window – an Alfred Hitchcock movie) and then came the Transformers in 2007.

In 2008, Shia became famous as Sam Witwicky, the teenager whose yellow car draws him to the war between the Transformers. The next movie in the Transformers  series (Revenge of the Fallen) got delayed because of his accident in which he broke his left hand. This must’ve been a really bad year for Shia because:

I don’t know if the Transformers have really been nice to him – but they’ve definitely been nice to his bank balance, which I guess is a good enough reason for him to stick with them – but then should he be giving an eye and an arm for it, is a question that he ponders upon in this caricature.

Shia LaBeouf’s Personal Life:

Shia’s personal life is possibly the most not-happening sort of personal life in all of Hollywood.

The only thing that makes me a little interested in his personal life is that he likes to date women who are already in a relationship. Thank God for small misdemeanors!

Follow Shia LaBeouf’s life at: http://www.shialabeouf.us/

This August 15th, I didn’t feel free.

I know what it is.
Do I?
I am not sure.
If I described it, you’d recognize it perhaps.
It’s a pain that begins in my head, reaches my chest, squeezes my heart, and leaves me perspiring…gasping for air. Then I push it away. I tell myself that August 15 is a joyous occasion. It is to be celebrated with pride, because India won its freedom on this day. The pain then becomes a dull thud in the background. Is this the pain of corruption that we experience every day of our lives?

Anna Hazare - Civil Society of India.I had got used to the pain of this corruption, because I had to live. I told myself that we were better off than many other countries of this world – that we at least had the freedom to express ourselves. It was a way to console myself – a sort of white flag.  But this year was different. This year, Anna Hazare made us realize that while we had numbed ourselves to the pain, the cancer of corruption was growing unchecked in our country. He and his team made us wake up and reflect upon the issue. We realized that we needed and effective Lokpal bill as the tool to surgically remove this cancer that’s killing our country!

But we also realized that it wasn’t going to be easy. That another struggle was needed. A struggle that Anna Hazare called the Second Freedom Struggle; a struggle that’d help us remove this putrid mass of corruption. Unfortunately, when Anna attempted to achieve his ends through peaceful means, his voice was stifled. He was detained even before he could reach the protest venue. This freedom struggle has made us realize another bitter reality. We still aren’t free to voice our opinions…we still are in the grips of fascism…and that this battle against corruption is going to be a long one.

This is why I could not inspire myself to present a new Independence Day drawing this year. I hope you will understand.

Thank you for reading.

Caricature Gallery Updated with 12 New Caricatures!

My Dear Visitors of all Genres (furry/fur-less, funny/fun-less, angry/loving, lost/found, past/future, and so on…)

I have bowed to your wishes and updated the Caricature Gallery. For a quick reference for those who’ve missed my more recent additions to this blog. Here are five of the twelve News-makers who got into the Gallery today.

Sarah Palin

The lady who’s got everything that matters. The former Alaskan Governor who could turn the US into a tax-free nation, if you’d vote for her and make her the first woman President of the US – provided she decides to stand for the 2012 Elections!

Alaska's Former Governor known for more than just politics - Sarah Palin's Caricature

——:::——

Osama Bin Laden

You may have forgotten this chap but he hogged the International Terror News for a whole decade, until he was removed from this world along with his stash of pornography. Does that ring a bell? Here’s this caricature of OBL, which I drew while watching the news on CNN. Why six dozen presumably virtuous virgins would want him is totally beyond me.

Caricature of a Dead Terrorist - Osama bin Laden——:::——

Muammar Gaddafi

His supporters would kindly excuse me for misspelling his name (if I did) but this guy holds the Guinness World Book record for the most variably spelled-name. Gaddafi’s caricature is one of my favorites. It shall remain contextual until Gaddafi either decides (or is made to decide,) to let go of Libya. If I were you, I’d click the following icon to check out his costume. If you are a normal non-antiperspirant-user kind of person – one look at his costume could drown you in your own sweat!

The dictator who refuses to step down as the Head of Libya - A Caricature of Muammar Gaddafi——:::——

Nicolas Sarkozy

He is the colorful President of France, known more for his wife Carla Bruni than for his work (or so I presume, because I see more of his wife’s pictures than I see his.) I should also add that now that they are expecting their first child, Sarkozy’s smile and Carla’s baby-bump are both expanding exponentially.

Caricature of Carla Bruni's Husband and the French President Nicolas Sarkozy——:::——

Anna Hazare

This unassuming gentleman is responsible for a shortage of sleeping pills in New Delhi. The politicians have been popping them by the dozen, as Anna Hazare makes them dance to a Gandhian Remix. Whether or not he’d prevail is yet to be seen. In my humble opinion, why would an innocent young man want to ever become a politician if the carrot of corruption is made to disappear from the system?

An Honest Man fights Corruption in India - A Pen and Ink Portrait of Anna Hazare——:::——

Thanks 🙂

Caricature/Cartoon of Ajit Ninan – The Great Indian Cartoonist.

Presenting Ajit Ninan, the Indian Cartoonist who breaks all established standards of quality in cartooning.

Caricature, Cartoon, Portrait, Sketch, or Drawing of Ajit Ninan, the Great Indian Cartoonist (Times of India.)

I foraged the web to ferret out some information on Ajit Ninan, but returned empty-handed. I don’t know when he celebrates his birthday, I don’t really know a lot about his early life, and except for a few details, I know nothing about his professional life.

So what does the Caricaturist do when faced with a blank page?

She closes her eyes and lets her thoughts travel into the past, where she sees a young boy with a dimpled smile, who would become the Ajit Ninan whose drawings tell her that there are people who refuse to kill their skill – come what may.

Here’s the story of this little boy, who became one of the two Indian Cartoonists who’ve made me experience both pride and joy in equal measures.

The Caricaturist concocts a story:

Leave the Roses and Embrace the Thorns

He loved the afternoons. Hyderabadi afternoons were scathingly hot during this time of the year but the heat didn’t deter him from enjoying them. He’d walk back from school with his friends, feeling under the hot glare of the Sun on his brow, his arms, and his spindly legs only half covered by the shorts of his school uniform; but he always looked forward to the afternoons. They were his to do whatever his heart desired. Deep inside he felt that whatever he might end up doing all his life – these afternoons would remain etched in his memories forever.

This was one of those unforgettable afternoons. Ajit had returned from school, and after a quick snack of Idiyappam that his mother had made for him, he was now lying on his stomach, with his feet up in the air – letting the coolness of the marble floor seep into his body. His sketchbook lay open in front of him and propped upon his left elbow, he drew in it feverishly. He had wanted to finish the drawing of that toy car before his father arrived home from work. He looked over his shoulder to check the clock in the living room. It was past four already!

He returned to his drawing, and then drew away to look at the whole picture. What should he do with wheel? Should it be a little bigger? Would it look funnier if he made it bigger…a lot bigger than the other one?

Thoughts swirled about in his mind, blocking everything else…reducing the sounds around him to an unrecognizable medley – the slight hum of his mother’s voice in the kitchen, the distant din of the vendors in the street, even the creaking sound of the door opening…

So when he heard his name being called in his father’s loud but stern voice, Ajit almost jumped out of his skin. The drawing pencil shot out of his hand and landed under his table that was set near the window, and his sketchbook lay open on the floor – the proof of his being a wayward son.

“What are you doing?”
“Nothing, Father.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing to me,” his father took a step forward. Ajit shrunk away. He wished he had listened to his intuition, but then his father never came home early. What was different today? And then it clicked. His parents had to attend a wedding today! While Ajit’s revved-up mind was busy figuring out all this, his father had picked up the sketchbook.

Ajit held the edge of the table to steady himself. This was going to be one of those days.

“You made all these?” His father asked.
Isn’t it obvious? It’s my sketchbook, isn’t it? Ajit thought.
“Yes, Father,” he said.
“You think that these scribblings would get you a job?”
“…
“You think that I am spending on your education, so that you could become a painter?”
“…
“How many marks did you get in Math last year?”
“…
“How many? I am asking you a question. Answer it.”
“45,” quaked Ajit.
“45. 45 out of 100! How you’ll ever make it into Engineering is beyond me.”

“Tell me. How will you ever become an engineer, if you go on neglecting Math for these…these…” his father struggled to find the right word.
“Drawings?” Ajit couldn’t stop himself from supplying the word, but regretting it immediately after.
“Drawings. Yes. You are good at making these – and this skill will help you a lot when you study engineering. These tractors, these jeeps, these pumps…” he continued as he flipped through Ajit’s sketchbook, while Ajit waited for the tirade to end.

It ended, as always, when his mother intervened. Oh, how he loved her. She was the only one in the whole family, who truly supported his love for drawing – but even she fretted about his future. If only he could prove them wrong.

Later that evening, as Ajit sat at his table near the window, absently trying to resolve those improper fractions into proper fractions, random pieces of conversation floated in from his parents’ bedroom.

“He takes after you…all these feminine habits.”
“He takes after both of us.”
“I never got 45 in Math.”
“But he’s as stubborn as you are.”
“I am telling you…he’s got this stupid thing for drawing! I am telling you, I don’t want him writing letters to the black sheep of our family.”
“I don’t think he writes to him.”
“I don’t know. Who knows anything about what that boy does? You have to ask him.”

Ajit turned his attention to his notebook. Those fractions kept changing into cartoon characters. Why? Didn’t 2 look almost like a serpent and the number 8…he found himself doodling two meshing gears into the 8! The “black sheep” of the family. That had to be his uncle Abu Abraham. He worked for this American Publication called the Guardian, but he was shortly returning to India. Abu’s atheism and the way he thumbed his nose at traditions had ensured his symbolic ouster from the family.

His whole body tensed up in anticipation as he waited for them to leave. Ajit’s parents were going out for a Punjabi wedding, which meant that they’d not return until late in night. He could now look forward to many hours of unadulterated drawing pleasure.

Ajit Ninan’s Nonexistent Biography

I couldn’t find his biography, so I tried to glean whatever information I could from a variety of sources, especially from this post by Abhijit Bhaduri.

Here’s the sum total of my learning.

Ajit Ninan was born in Hyderabad in 1955. His parents were from Kerala though. Ajit studied at Hyderabad Public School where he manipulated his way into the library, so that he could go through the Cartoons in magazines. When he was young, he prefered to draw mechanical drawings, which I presume, must’ve made his father believe that his son wanted to become and engineer when he grew up. Fortunately Ninan wasn’t good at Math (I say fortunately, because had he been good at it, he’d have ended up becoming an engineer; which would mean that India would’ve lost one of its few great cartoonists,)so he studied political science, and became a political cartoonist.

Ninan published in first cartoon in Shankar’s Weekly, a magazine that his equally illustrious uncle Abu Abraham also drew for.

Ninan’s Inspirations include Mario Miranda, James Thurber, and Arnold Roth (he used to spend his precious out-of-class-in-the-library hours poring over the drawings of JT and AR.) Ajit Ninan worked with India Today as a Cartoonist and an Illustrator. He then moved to The Indian Express. He currently works with The Times of India as their Group Art Consultant.

Here are some interesting links for you to follow.

What this caricaturist has in common with the Great Ninan?

Believe it or not, I have the exact same lamp on my table that Ninan has on his. I had bought it 15 years ago. I wanted to buy another of the same kind, but failed 😦

Caricature/Cartoon Napoleon Bonaparte – The Genius French Emperor who fired his Fashion Designer!

Napoleon Bonaparte could’ve changed the destiny of India had he seized Egypt. Indians could be speaking French instead of English, and Delhi would’ve been a replica of Paris! Doesn’t sound all that bad to the Caricaturist. What difference would it have made – our ancestors would’ve died fighting for freedom anyways – my Grandmother would’ve gone to jail during the freedom struggle, anyways… but we’d be a more artistic lot.

But let me not get started on the Indian Freedom Struggle and show you this caricature of the Great Napoleon Bonaparte.

The Caricature, Cartoon, Portrait of the French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, looking unhappy in his bicorne hat and his tights.

Where’s that idiot who designed this uniform? The hat keeps falling over my eyes, the jacket is too stiff, and the trousers appear to be made of plastic! But hold on…plastic hasn’t been invented yet – right?

Napoleon’s Napoleonic Biography

Napoleon was born on 15 August 1769 (Note the connection with India’s Independence Day.) and he died on 5 May 1821, when he was barely 53! He spent his short life fighting battles that impoverished France and killed about 3 million people in Europe. Despite this (or because of this) he is considered the greatest military leader ever.

From 1799 to 1812, almost all of Napoleon’s military quests ended in victory and they helped him establish France as a military power to reckon with; but his good fortune ended in 1812, when he invaded Russia. He hadn’t expected the climate to be so unbelievably hostile and that was his undoing. Next he was defeated by the Sixth Coalition and was kept in exile from which he escaped and resumed power. Unfortunately his army was defeated in the Battle of Waterloo, he was captured by the British and he died in captivity – either of arsenic poisoning or of cancer.

But Napoleon isn’t known only for his battles. He’s known for more.

Napoleon’s Intellectual Legacy

Napoleon was responsible for a lot of other reforms in France. Here are a few of them.

The Napoleon Complex

They (the psychologists, who else) say that Napoleon was power-hungry because he wanted to compensate for lack of height. This assumption led them to coin the term “Napoleon Complex” They (the historians of course) incorrectly assumed that this historical giant was five feet two inches in height, while he actually was five feet seven inches – quite tall for his period! The confusion, they say (the mathematicians, who else) happened because Napoleon has instituted a different unit system in France!

Napoleon’s Love Life

What’s life without a little love?
It is said that Napoleon found his love in Josephine who was a widow and also a mistress of one of his associates. Napoleon married Josephine but as he was hardly ever around, Josephine found a lover. This obviously didn’t go down well with Napoleon, who decided that two could play at the game of infidelity. So it all went on and on, until Napoleon divorced Josephine citing the medieval reason – he needed a successor. He then married Marie Louise who gave him a son, who later ruled as Napoleon II for a couple of weeks and then succumbed to TB.

Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes

  • A leader is a dealer in hope…(only.)
  • A picture is worth a thousand words.(Not on the Internet!)
  • A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon…(a fact gladly exploited by the politicians.)
  • All religions have been made by men. (I am glad that there’s been one other person who realized this.)
  • An army marches on its stomach. (Of course…everyone else too.)