Queen Elizabeth II becomes the Longest-reigning British Monarch.

Queen Elizabeth II (British Monarch: 6 February 1952 to Present.)

Queen Victoria who reigned as the Queen of United kingdom from 20 June 1837  to 22 January 1901, and who also remote-ruled India from 1 May 1876 to 22 January 1901, has been dethroned as the longest reigning British Monarch by Queen Elizabeth II. Queen Victoria was Queen Elizabeth II’s great-great-grand-mother, so she might’ve been genetically pre-disposed to long reigns.  Queen Elizabeth II never ruled India. (her reign upon the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth Nations began on 6 February 1952, almost 7 years after India gained independence from the British.)

And yet, the fascination of the British with their monarchy never fails to amuse me. Perhaps they love to keep alive their connection with their glorious past, when the British, being the tiny nation they were, had conquered more than half the world. I don’t understand the reason why, and yet and as an artist I can’t marvel at the beauty of her crown, her dress, and her bearing. This is perhaps why I painted her caricature a couple of years ago.

I’ll end with an honest quote from Her Majesty The Queen.

I have to be seen to be believed.
– Queen Elizabeth II

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Caricature: David Cameron upon hearing that Scotland said No to Divorce!

Did you know that David Cameron had worried himself sick (got ulcers) on the issue of the Scottish Referendum. When he heard the result and realized (realised) that Scotland had voted for “no divorce” for a moment he couldn’t believe his ears. In fact, the Queen was so happy that she purred (as told to the media by David Cameron.)

If you want me to email you when Toonsie Roll goes live on the App Store, please visit the Toonsie Roll page by clicking the button in the menu above, or the link below.

The Toonsie Roll App

The look of slight confusion (the eyebrows raised in the middle, the partially open mouth) and yet relief creeping up at the corners of his lips – it actually fits the situation perfectly. As an artist, I’d have spent hours trying to get that look right – but I used Toonsie Roll and got the whole caricature along with the emoji, the text, the signature, and of course, the caricature – in four minutes flat. Isn’t that cool? All on the basis of intuition. The point is – it’s tons of fun to caricature people you know – for instance, your boy/girl-friend, your boss (oh yes,) or even your friends – and all you need to create a caricature master-piece is this app in your device 🙂 Send me a message through the contact form, and I’ll let you know when it hits the App Store!

Anyway, coming back to Cameron’s delight upon the positive (er..negative) vote – the percentage that voted for divorce (45%) and that voted for staying married (55%) doesn’t show a very wide gap, which means there still is a sizable population that wants to separate – so his worries might not be over yet. Amidst allegations of vote-rigging, the Scottish referendum of 2014 is already stirring up emotions instead of settling them down.

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Caricature/Cartoon – Alexander the Great, the Birds, and the Golden Feather of India.

Can you hear the battle cry?

Try harder and you should be able to hear the battle cry of Alexander’s troops as they ready themselves to attack India’s North-western frontier – Gandhar, or the present day Afghanistan (capital: Kandahar); if you press your ear to the ground, you might even hear the clappity-clap of the horse-hooves; and if you have a discerning ear, you should also be able to hear the snores of his tired soldiers, randomly punctuated by mysterious thuds. These thuds, in fact, were caused by the sleepy soldiers who fell off their horses, every once in a while.

No?
You couldn’t hear a thing?

Tchah!

Let me tell you what happened. Though Alexander’s tired and sleepy troops could defeat King Porus yet the battle cost them their energy and their enthusiasm and they couldn’t reach the richer kingdoms of India. This is precisely why Alexander’s headgear didn’t have a golden plume in it. But the birds didn’t know that – do they?

Here’s Alexander the Great on his return journey WITHOUT the Golden Feather from the Golden Bird called India.(Sorry about the color of the web-page – I’d have preferred Golden, but who listens to me…sniff!)

Alexander on his way back - wondering what happened in India. A scratchy sketch by the otherwise immaculate caricaturist.

Tradition Dictates that I provide a crisp summary of Alexander’s life, and who am I to question traditions – so, here’s it.

Alexander’s Least Dependable Biography on the Web

Alexander was born the son of Olympias and Philip, in the Summer of 356 BC. By virtue of being born the son of the previous king, he became the king of Macedon when he turned 20. However, Alexander wanted more. This could partially be attributed to his genetic makeup as his mom Olympias was an extremely ambitious lady, and also partially to his tutor Aristotle (wonder why I feel the need to bring Aristotle in? Perhaps because had he not taught Geography to Alexander, he wouldn’t have been able to plan right.)

Let me not dawdle and come straight to the point. Alexander didn’t sit still after he became the king of Macedon. Without further ado, he got his army together, and marched eastwards. He attacked country after country after country, and after annexing many such countries he established an empire that stretched all the way from Macedon and Egypt in the west to the north-western frontier of India (Gandhara) in the east. The fact that the empire didn’t last long after his death, is often not talked about much – so I won’t talk about it either.

Alexander’s Conquests

If you want a list of his conquests, please visit the following links.

• Alexander’s Conquests – A colorful map
• Alexander’s Conquests – Wikipedia

Interesting Stuff about Alexander the Great

According to legend, Alexander was a gift from God (to the Macedonian royal family, of course – not to those countless families whose sons died in the wars he waged for 12 long years. Ever wonder why God always appears to favor royalty?)

Oh, I strayed. So why was Alexander considered to be gift from God? Well, mainly because his mom (the cunning Olympias who slept with snakes – Nancy, I hope you read this,) and his dad (who loved to get drunk and was an octa-wiferian) both had funny dreams when he was in his mom’s womb. In a manner of speaking, the rumor-mill of those days spewed rumors that Alexander was conceived through divine intervention. Poor Philip. He did all the hard-work, didn’t he?

Alexander’s mom was a busy lady (she had to bathe and feed the snakes, I presume) and so dear darling baby Alexander was raised by a nurse. As I’ve written in my previous post, when Alex was 10, his dad made a thoughtless remark to his son – and that remark changed the destinies of thousands.

The Most Important Question – Was Alexander the Great gay?

I think we should consider it Alexander’s personal matter and drop it. I mean what difference does it make to us? And do you know why we ask this question? Because poor Alexander had a severe Oedipal complex and he wasn’t all that interested in women. Big deal! I refuse to talk more on this topic, but if you are so keen on finding out whether Alexander was gay or not, please click here.

Another Important Question – Did Alexander ever fall in love?

Perhaps so. With a pretty princess called Roxanne and he also married her. Alexander married only twice. Once for love and then for political reasons.

Alexander and Porus (perhaps Paurush – anglicized to Porus)

Porus is the guy who was instrumental in making Alexander and his troops turn back. According to historical texts, Alexander’s troops were suffering from a loss of morale and they were tired of the apparently endless stream of battles that they had to fight. Yet,  I believe otherwise. I think that Alexander had to turn back because he came up against the fiercest warriors of India – people from the region of Punjab. Porus or Paurush, as I’d like to call him, was the king of Purus, who were the Punjabis of the year 326 BC. This Wikipedia entry (I know that you know better, but I couldn’t find a link to your article on this subject) tells us that the lineage of Purus could have survived as the Puris of today. So if you are a Puri, you can be proud of stopping Alexander’s invasion of India.

In midst of all this, I forgot to tell you that Porus was able to thwart Alexander’s plans just by being himself. He had lost the battle but when Alexander asked him how he’d like to be treated, Porus said, “treat me the way one king treats another.” Now, if nothing else proves that Porus was a Punjabi, that does – doesn’t it? (Ask a Punjabi to find out.)

I must stop now…really – or I’d end up writing a long nonsensical story, which’d be typical of me – your very own crazy caricaturist 🙂

Caricature/Cartoon Napoleon Bonaparte – The Genius French Emperor who fired his Fashion Designer!

Napoleon Bonaparte could’ve changed the destiny of India had he seized Egypt. Indians could be speaking French instead of English, and Delhi would’ve been a replica of Paris! Doesn’t sound all that bad to the Caricaturist. What difference would it have made – our ancestors would’ve died fighting for freedom anyways – my Grandmother would’ve gone to jail during the freedom struggle, anyways… but we’d be a more artistic lot.

But let me not get started on the Indian Freedom Struggle and show you this caricature of the Great Napoleon Bonaparte.

Where’s that idiot who designed this uniform? The hat keeps falling over my eyes, the jacket is too stiff, and the trousers appear to be made of plastic! But hold on…plastic hasn’t been invented yet – right?

Napoleon’s Napoleonic Biography

Napoleon was born on 15 August 1769 (Note the connection with India’s Independence Day.) and he died on 5 May 1821, when he was barely 53! He spent his short life fighting battles that impoverished France and killed about 3 million people in Europe. Despite this (or because of this) he is considered the greatest military leader ever.

From 1799 to 1812, almost all of Napoleon’s military quests ended in victory and they helped him establish France as a military power to reckon with; but his good fortune ended in 1812, when he invaded Russia. He hadn’t expected the climate to be so unbelievably hostile and that was his undoing. Next he was defeated by the Sixth Coalition and was kept in exile from which he escaped and resumed power. Unfortunately his army was defeated in the Battle of Waterloo, he was captured by the British and he died in captivity – either of arsenic poisoning or of cancer.

But Napoleon isn’t known only for his battles. He’s known for more.

Napoleon’s Intellectual Legacy

Napoleon was responsible for a lot of other reforms in France. Here are a few of them.

• The Napoleonic Code
• The French Units of Measurement
• Jewish Assimilation

The Napoleon Complex

They (the psychologists, who else) say that Napoleon was power-hungry because he wanted to compensate for lack of height. This assumption led them to coin the term “Napoleon Complex” They (the historians of course) incorrectly assumed that this historical giant was five feet two inches in height, while he actually was five feet seven inches – quite tall for his period! The confusion, they say (the mathematicians, who else) happened because Napoleon has instituted a different unit system in France!

Napoleon’s Love Life

What’s life without a little love?
It is said that Napoleon found his love in Josephine who was a widow and also a mistress of one of his associates. Napoleon married Josephine but as he was hardly ever around, Josephine found a lover. This obviously didn’t go down well with Napoleon, who decided that two could play at the game of infidelity. So it all went on and on, until Napoleon divorced Josephine citing the medieval reason – he needed a successor. He then married Marie Louise who gave him a son, who later ruled as Napoleon II for a couple of weeks and then succumbed to TB.

Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes

• A leader is a dealer in hope…(only.)
• A picture is worth a thousand words.(Not on the Internet!)
• A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon…(a fact gladly exploited by the politicians.)
• All religions have been made by men. (I am glad that there’s been one other person who realized this.)
• An army marches on its stomach. (Of course…everyone else too.)
  

Shafali Hitler shares Some More SEO Humor!

You may have read the SEO Humor Post that I made a while ago. While writing that post, I never thought that I’d be inspired to write another, so shortly after my first attempt at finding humor in the keywords that appear in this blog’s list.

But then what has to happen does. We can’t stop it, can we? Just like we can’t stop global warming, aging, corruption…or on the brighter side, just the way we can’t put a stop to gold-digging, cuckolding, pick-pocketing etc.; we can’t stop posts from rolling out of absurd ideas.

So here’s what I found in the treasure-chest this morning.

Search Term 1: world’s funniest drawings

My dear searcher, you reached the wrong place, didn’t you? I mean, my caricatures border on the funny – but they never go the whole way. They keep twiddling their thumbs as they stand nervously at the edge of the cliff, awash with fear – never gathering the courage to jump into the shrieking swirling waters of funny-ness. So for all the future searchers of world’s funniest drawings, I recommend that they click the “Cool Caricaturists” link on this blog, or resume their search elsewhere without wasting another minute.

Search Term 2: drawings of ugly women

What?!
Aren’t you searching for something that doesn’t exist? I mean, you could find God if you tried hard enough …but impossible to find a woman who’s ugly. If you don’t believe me, organize a random poll and ask women to rate themselves as ugly or beautiful – and check the results!

We caricaturists could make ugly caricatures of women, but women themselves are beautiful. It’s the men-folk who have a large sub-set called “ugly men”. So My Dear Sir (I don’t know why but I feel confident that this search term was born in a man’s mind,) please don’t go looking for ugly women. You are wasting your precious time on an impossible quest. Look for beautiful, pretty, lovely, wonderful, fantastic, fabulous, super, great, glamorous women instead…and you’ll be swamped!

Search Term 3: queen elizabeth’s mom princess elizabeth

I googled that information for you, dear searcher…and when I read the first line on this link, felt so optimistic that I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog.

Why?

Well, here’s why. Queen Elizabeth II’s mom, Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon was born in 1900 and she lived to a ripe old age (and I mean really truly completely ripe) of 102 years! Wow! But believe it or not Princess Alice is going to beat Queen Elizabeth Bowes Lyon’s record!

If you haven’t seen Queen Elizabeth II’s caricature on this blog, click here.

Search Term 4: Salvador Dali’s Eyebrows

Salvador Dali’s Eyebrows?!
Are you sure that you want to look at his eyebrows and not his mustaches?!
I think you should be looking at his mustaches – they are quite a pair. Here’s Salvador Dali’s Caricature – it’ll help you appreciate why this search made me wonder whether the searcher really knew was good for him.

Search Term 5: i hate my job+cartoon

Oh…oh. I am so sorry. You really hate your job? Do you? And I agree, you do become a cartoon when you begin to hate your job. In fact, you have to be Dilbert to love your work…right? In this horrible horrible world of today, who doesn’t want to be stuck inside a cartoon strip, free from the worries of loan-repayments and medical insurance premiums.

Search Term 6: half old woman half princess cartoon

You make a good point there. I think what you should be looking for is a cartoon of an old woman OR of a princess. In her mind, every old woman is a princess that she couldn’t be in real life (except of course, those anachronisms who even in this modern world stick to being Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses) and, every princess – from the day she’s born becomes an old woman – because she can’t do those little things that make life so much fun…because they have to corset not just their bodies but their emotions as well.

Search Term 7: unhygienic practices cartoons

Eeeyuck!
You mean – nose-picking, @$$-scratching, ever-spitting, not-flushing…etc. etc. etc. kind of cartoons??!!
But why…and where’s the humor?

Oh…I get it. Hee hee hee!

Search Terms 8a,b,c,d: indian necked men/handsome indian naked men/indian ugly man

I am curious. Who are you dear searcher…and what exactly are you looking for. It’s clear that you want to look at an Indian Man but an indian “necked” man? What’s an Indian neck? Are you looking for a Caucasian male who’s had a neck transplant so that his neck looked Indian…or an Indian who has retained his Indian neck or had got a new neck…in any of those great shades of Indian browns?

Oh…oh. it was a typo…right? I looked at the second term and it dawned upon me that you are looking for Indian men au-naturel – and handsome ones too. Now you really need to check out my first post on SEO-matters of importance here. You may not succeed in your search, my friend of either gender.

But what’s that third term? You needed to do a Google search for that? Really? I mean all you had to do was switch channels and watch some political news!

Search Term 9: art from ajit ninan

Thanks for the reminder. I shall make the promised post about the wonderful Ajit Ninan soon:)

Search Term 10: SHAFALI HITLER!!!

No. I am not. I will not take that insult, dear Sir or Ma’am or Bot! I am, and shall remain Shafali the Artist, Shafali the Caricaturist, Shafali the Egoist. Shafali Hitler is one title that I am not going to take lying down. Beware, or I’ll let Hitler the Satan loose!

Caricature/Cartoon – Muammar Gaddafi – The Dictator of Libya.

Updated: October 20, 2011:

Colonel Gaddafi was killed by the Libyan Rebel Forces (now known as the Transitional Authorities) in his Hometown Sirte, on October 20, 2011. Now it’s time for Libya to prove that they can establish and maintain a democracy.

Mahatma Gandhi said,

The spirit of democracy is not a mechanical thing to be adjusted by abolition of forms. It requires change of heart.

When the first step towards democracy is soaked in blood, a change of heart isn’t easy to come by. Democracy requires a belief in peace and in non-violence, the primary reason why India has been more successful with democracy despite being the most populated of all the nations that gained their independence in the twentieth century, and despite having been born in a sea of blood. What is the belief of those who are now strapping themselves in the driver’s seat for these reborn nations? We will know in a few years. Right now it appears to be a time to celebrate.

————————————Original post follows————————————–

Presenting the self-proclaimed “King of the Kings”, the nutty dictator of Libya – Muammar Gaddafi, who’s had Libya in his claws for 40 long years – and who isn’t yet willing to loosen his grip…come blood, gore, deaths, or even international opposition!

I’ll martyr Libya. (What did I say? Oh…I meant I’ll die a martyr for Libya!)

The Highlights of Gadhafi’s Life – As seen by the Caricaturist who suffers from Tunnel Vision coupled with Multiple Blind Spots!

Muammar Al-Gaddafi, the 70-year old Libyan leader who doesn’t let go of his 40-year long hold on Libya, was born in a tent in the desert, near Sirt, a city of Libya. He received his elementary education in a madarsa. When he grew up, he joined the military academy of Libya and graduated in 1966. He became the dictator of Libya in 1969 after overthrowing King Idris and ridding Libya of the “oily-rich” monarchy. Others who helped him overthrow the monarchy became subservient to him – thus began the reign of Gaddafi.

A full political biography of Gaddafi isn’t something that I really want to suffocate my readers with, so I will stick to presenting only the essential details, which… pertain to his children. (You think there’s more to life than children? Ask any parent.) Gaddafi has eight children – 7 male! I won’t even try to write down the details of all his sons, but it’s difficult for me not to mention his fourth son, aptly called Hannibal M. Gaddafi.

The Ridiculously Important Stuff!

1. Even with Kadafi (yes…another spelling,) Libya has one of the  highest per capita GDP in Africa – all thanks to Oil.
2. Gaddafi worked really hard to get weapons of mass destruction from China, Pakistan, and India – and then when he saw what happened to Saddam, he did an about-turn and allowed for inspection and destruction of his own arsenal (Why? Don’t ask me – ask a Gaddafi-expert.)
3. In 2008, Gaddafi got bestowed upon himself the title of King of the Kings of Africa, and called for the creation of the United States of Africa (which thankfully didn’t happen – or we’d be wondering where to fit the abbreviation “USA”!)
4. Believe it or not, he was involved in at least 25 assassinations internationally, and yet…he gets to meet all the top world leaders. (Why can’t I, a law-abiding citizen of a democracy, meet them instead – I ask you.)
5. On one hand, Gaddafi is considered an “almost terrorist” who brought Libya to a level where the US once declared it a “rogue state”; on the other hand, he has been involved in many public utility projects within Libya.
6. In 2010, during his trip to Italy, Gaddafi asked the European women to convert to Islam (I think he’d have got a better response from men… but then I am ignorant of the finer threads of Gaddafi’s thought process.)
7. In 2009, he  addressed the UN General Assembly, in which he called Barack Obama, “the son of Africa.” (I don’t know if the White House issued an official denial, but it did make life difficult for the US President, ultimately forcing him to produce his birth certificate to show that he was “the son of America”!)
8. Gaddafi often contradicts himself in his speeches (all politicians do, but then unlike Gaddafi, most of them make an attempt to appear sensible.)
9. He imposed Sharia law in Libya, in the year 1973. Accordingly, alcohol was outlawed. (Now, are you wondering how he got those bags under his eyes?)

The Present Civil Unrest in Libya

It began in February 2011 (Inspired by the Tunisian protests…as it happened elsewhere in the middle-east.) Despite the continuing battle between the Army and the Civilians, and despite the intervention of the international community, Muammar Gaddafi has refused to let go of Libya.

For more details, watch CNN.

Gaddafi’s Plastic Surgery

• The man had a plastic surgery to look young. Don’t ask me for the before and after pictures, please. However, you are welcome to read about it here.
• Gaddafi gives a winning smile on the Libyan Dinar. I wonder if the sketch was done from a post-plastic surgery picture?

Moammar Gaddafi’s Quotes

It is the Libyan people’s responsibility to liquidate such scums who are distorting Libya’s image abroad.
—Gaddafi

“There are signs that Allah will grant Islam victory in Europe–without swords, without guns, without conquests. The 50 million Muslims of Europe will turn it into a Muslim continent within a few decades.” —Gaddafi

I really don’t know if the Gaddafi Quotes here are real or not…but they sure make you wonder whether the man actually has a left side to his brain.

Gaddafi’s Female Body-guards

No post on Gaddafi can be complete without a mention of his “virgin” body-guards. (Ever wonder what the interview process for recruitment of his body-guards must include?)
For a colorful collection of pictures that show his many body-guards, the various spellings of his name as a list of tags  – click this link here 🙂

And finally…

Watch the Crazy Gadhafi slideshow here, and … design a Gaddafi Costume for your next Halloween party!

Leaving to Attend the Royal Wedding – Just Received my Invitation!

Folks, I am sorry but I have to leave. I know that it’s on a very short notice, but when the Queen invites you to her dear grandson William’s wedding with Kate Middleton, you have to oblige (oops, the wrong choice of words…but I hope the Queen would understand that a delayed invitation could lead to such errors.)

Let me recount the events, which led me to make this post.

It was 5:00 AM and I was about to post the boy wizard’s caricature when I heard this knock on my door. At such an early hour, you don’t expect me to be dressed for the day, so obviously I was in my pajamas when I opened the door to a man who introduced himself as one of the Queen’s Royal Guards. He handed me the gilded wedding invitation, and apologized for the delay. According to him, first he was held up by the Taliban in the AfPak region, who mistook him for a possible Jackpot (read: an American Journalist). They released him last week, after realizing that he was just an innocent messenger.  He could have reached me the day before yesterday, but then he couldn’t get the card across the Indian custom officials – who were mesmerized by the “glitter of gold.”

I am making this post from the special jet that the Queen chartered for me. I am highly indebted to the Queen for naming this jet, “The Caricaturist One” in my honor. I extend an open invitation to the entire royal family to stay in my humble abode whenever they visit Delhi.

Here’s a scan of the invitation card (I couldn’t resist sharing it.)

Invitation for the Royal Wedding - 2011

Now I need to check with the guard whether it’s okay to attend the wedding in my pajamas. With such a short notice, I didn’t have time to shop for a formal gown. If I don’t get time to shop in London, and if pajamas are off the dress-code list then I hope one of the royal ladies will condescend to share her wardrobe with me – just for the occasion.

Sorry folks. Have to stop now. Just now the pilot has asked me to fasten my seat belt as we’ve entered England and would be landing soon:)

Caricature/Cartoon – Prince William and Kate Middleton – A Wedding Present to the Royal Couple!

WISHING THE ROYAL COUPLE A LONG & HAPPY MARRIED LIFE!

(Check out what the Royal Wedding Invitation Card looks like ;-))

The Royal Bond of Love - Kate Middleton and Prince William.

You are welcome to use this caricature on your blog/non-commercial website.

Prince William – A Dash of his Biography

Prince William was born on June 21, 1982. With Prince Charles as his dad and Princess Diana as his mom, Prince William possibly became famous before he was born. He could be the King of 16 states of the Commonwealth Realm, including the United Kingdom but excluding India – thanks to the Indian Freedom Struggle🙂

As it must be with those of royal lineage, the Prince stays busy with humanitarian causes (AIDS, Poverty in Africa), and sports (for charity). Read all about him at his Wikipedia page.

What interests me most about Prince Williams is the fact that he one among the 10% lefties in the world. I guess in all other things, he is one in a zillion. How many people are born princes or princesses – even if you include the worlds at the outer-realms of the universe?

Everything that you ever wanted to know about Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton was born on January 9, 1982 (older than the Prince – is she?) She’s known for winning the Jackpot (read: Prince William’s Heart.) She was William’s flatmate at the University, and they’d been dating ever since.

Her parents earlier worked with British Airways in Jordan, but later relocated to Britain. Nevertheless, the interesting bit is that her maternal ancestors were workers and miners (Please read Ken Follett’s “Fall of the Giants” for a detailed account of their lives) and in those days, a girl born in a miner’s family would probably never become the Queen! But thankfully, the times have changed, and Cinderella stories happen outside the fairy tales too.

As it happens, the moment you are slated to become a princess – you turn the best-dressed/most glamorous/most beautiful – so it happened with Kate too. She’s been topping the best-dressed celeb charts in the recent past. 

Here are some childhood pictures of Kate Middleton.  (She looks pretty in these pictures, doesn’t she?)

The William-Kate Marriage or the Royal Wedding 2011!

Let us now return to the topic of this post – William’s marriage with Kate. It’s going to happen on April 29, 2011 – and for some strange reason, everyone (including your caricaturist) is interested in following it. It’s always nice to see a normal person become a princess. And now that the Queen has become used to accepting “common” people like you and me in their family – life should be substantially easier for Kate than it was for Diana.

But I wonder…

• Isn’t the British royalty a tad sexist? Believe it or not, Kate Middleton might be called “Her Royal Highness Princess William of Wales” especially if Prince William decides not to become a Duke, and Kate doesn’t get the title of Duchess. Now, where did “Kate Middleton” go? Do you see her in her new title? I don’t.
• Is Kate truly happy? She might be head-over-heels in love with William, but does she have to really give up her freedom for love?
• If a whole story begins with weight-loss programs (these days, Kate Middleton’s looking thinner than a stick,) I really don’t care to read it through. (Check this out.)

The Royal Wedding Data Sheet

Other than the fact that neither the Obamas nor I am invited to the wedding (and yet, the magnanimous caricaturist draws a wedding gift for the couple,) you may find the following bits interesting.

1. The guests are requested (oops! “required”) to reach Westminster Abbey at 11 a.m. on April 29.
2. They are required to wear  military uniform, tailcoat, or business suit (Can I assume that only men are invited – or that women can attend wearing bikinis?)
3. Total Invitations: 1900 for the wedding; of the 1900, 600 for the reception; of the 600, 300 for the dinner! So, you know how “Select” you are, by assessing the extent of your invitation.
4. The dress that Kate wears for her wedding is going to be important. You can see what the designers did to poor Diana (her Mother-in-Law,) here. Imagine a dress that would generate employment for four people for four hours – It reminds me of Chief Vitalstatistix’s shield carriers. You can just hope that Kate remembers to go to the loo before she gets into a dress like that – right? By the way, you can’t hope to influence the dress-designer into designing something more practical and comfortable for Kate, because the designer’s identity is being kept a secret.

Kate and William Wedding – Humor

• Five Reasons Why Kate and William Shouldn’t Marry
• Jokes – Sick and Well.
• Four Reasons Why Kate and William will Stay Married.

But what’s this?

A Video of their marriage? (Gasp! Are they already married? Double Gasp!) But seriously, you need to look at that video – it’s hilarious!

NEWEST NEWS! – Fresh from the Royal Oven (Added: April 28, 2011)

Kate Middleton has been having nightmares in which she sees herself exchanging vows with Prince William au-naturel, naked, in the buff! In her dream she gets stern looks from the queen (naturally) and she finds herself prioritizing which part of hers she should cover first. I wonder if she got state-approval on her comment before she made it to the media, because it does conjure a colorful image of the wedding – doesn’t it?

How to Draw These 7 Personalities?! Let them Draw themselves!

I can’t stop myself from writing this post…so I’d begin by apologizing to my serious visitors – I am sorry! This isn’t a deliberate, thoughtful post – it’s what the netizens would call an impulse post.

You see I came upon the search string, “How to Draw Ozzy Osbourne” in my blog’s data. Isn’t that the joke of the day?! Do you really need to figure it out? Really?!

You see…you don’t make Ozzy’s caricature – he’s already done the job for you. Instead, you make his portrait! So if you can draw, you can draw his caricature!

Here are some other “How to Draw the Caricature of…”! Smile Away:-)

How to Draw the Caricature of Mahatma Gandhi:

Draw the nose, the ears, and the spectacles – the viewers will fill in the rest.

Read the Post on the Caricature of Mahatma Gandhi

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How to Draw the Caricature of Ozzy Osbourne:

Forget it. I’ve tried but I believe that no caricaturist can beat Ozzy himself, when it comes to drawing his caricature.

Read the Post on the Caricature of Ozzy Osbourne

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How to Draw the Caricature of Abraham Lincoln:

Draw Gandhi’s caricature, add hair,  and remove the spectacles.

Read the Post on the Caricature of Abraham Lincoln

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How to Draw the Caricature of Pamela Anderson:

Draw the fishbowls. Period.

Read the Post on the Caricature of Pamela Anderson

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How to Draw the Caricature of Lady Gaga:

Draw a nest, or a Computer, or a Robot, or a Christmas Tree; and label it “Lady Gaga”

Read the Post on the Caricature of Lady Gaga

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How to Draw the Caricature of Queen Elizabeth:

Draw the crown. Period.

Read the Post on the Caricature of Queen Elizabeth II

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How to Draw the Caricature of Tiger Woods:

Draw the cap, the women, the Nike symbol…or…to draw a more modern Tiger Woods, draw a Tiger lost in the Woods with beautiful tigresses to give him company!

Read the Post on the Caricature of Tiger Woods, his Women, and the Devil.

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I could go on and on, and never stop…but I’ve got to go! Have fun, enjoy, and Draw Ozzy Osbourne’s Caricature – and see if you can do a better job than he did.

And…

if you are serious about doing caricatures, you must check out my FREE Online Book “How to Draw Caricatures – Evolution of a Caricaturist“!

Caricature/Cartoon – Queen Elizabeth II, the reigning British Monarch and Her Crown!

Queen Elizabeth II is the queen regnant of the United Kingdom. (Queen Regnant is a queen with all the royal authority ascribed to the ruler instead of being queen just by virtue of being the wife of a king.) This caricature-cartoon of Queen Elizabeth of the United Kingdom is about those many crowns that she wears!

After the caricature is a short biography of the Queen (Find the long one here.)

Uneasy?

Queen Elizabeth’s shortest biography on the web:

She was born on April 21, 1926. Her father George VI was the last Emperor of India. When he died in 1952, Elizabeth ascended the throne. About 5 years before her coronation she married Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburg, with whom she had fallen in love when she was only thirteen. They had four children. The Queen went through a lot of public criticism over the Charles-Diana debacle and later her response to Diana’s death. After Queen Victoria and King George III, she’s the longest reigning monarch of the British Empire, who has been the queen for 58 years now.

(Source: The Official Website of the British Monarchy.)

The Queen’s Annus Horribilis:

The Queen called 1992 her annus horribilis, which included the Topless Sarah Ferguson’s toe being kissed by John Bryan scandal, the fire at the palace, and Prince Charles’ and Princess Diana’s divorce…among other things! Phew! What an year…even for a queen with all the support systems in place!

(Source: Annus Horribilis – 1992 )

The Queen’s Gutsy Admirer – Michael Fagan

Of course, you can read the details of the Queen’s biography all over the web. So, let me talk about Michael Fagan, a 32-year-old man who broke into the Buckingham Palace and got into the Queen’s bedroom. This young man sat in the Queen’s bedroom and had about 8 minutes of uninterrupted conversation with her. Fascinating…right? The underside of it all was that he was accused of stealing half-a-bottle of wine…and then had to spend about six months in a mental asylum! There are two ways of looking at this punishment.

1. It was a small price to pay for a one-to-one conversation with the Queen.
2. Something was mentally wrong with those who put him into the mental asylum instead of the prison. By this philosophy, the thieves who ransacked our office last year and partied on all that was available in the pantry, should be sent to the mental assylum, instead of being put behind bars!

(Source: The Michael Fagan Incident)

Here are some interesting links:

• A Queen’s life
• The Coronation Dress
• Queen Elizabeth’s pictures
• The British Monarchy Site
• The Crown Jewels
• The Queen’s Personal Wealth
• Annus Horribilis – 1992

Queen Elizabeth II – Glossary:

Queen Regnant: The queen who is vested with all the royal authority (at par with the King.)
Queen Consort: The queen who’s a queen by virtue of being the wife of a king.
Annus Horibilis: A truly bad year where nothing works out and everybody is out to get you. (2009 for me, 1992 for the Queen!)

Drawing the Caricature of Queen Elizabeth II:

(A Window into my Thoughts, for those who want to learn how to draw the Queen’s caricature.)

• When you draw a queen, caricature or otherwise, you draw a queen. So it was important that the caricature highlighted her queenly attributes/features. Thus, the crown became important.
• Next, because the caricature was of Queen Elizabeth II, it had to have a likeness. As you’d note from her pictures, the Queen’s chin is slightly drawn in and she’s got a nice nose and a smile. These were important too.
• So the crown, the chin, and the smile got exaggerated. The dress and the ribbons were drawn to build additional likeness.
• The joke…well:-) Queen Elizabeth II is a strong woman who seems to have been born with a crown – and so she hardly notices it:-)