Before I return to the future and to this blog, I’d like to write a bridge post.
Here are some of the searches that my blog has received in the last two months. While I understand the seriousness of these queries, I have to share my interpretation of these searches with you.
Search Term 1: Depressed woman sketches
No. No depressed woman sketches for this blog. When this woman is depressed and she sketches, she begins to smile – you see, the depressed woman doesn’t remain depressed when she sketches, and so it’s the smiling woman that you see sketching, not the depressed one. Confused? Hop along to the next term.
Search Term 2: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Panties
Wow. Those panties are famous, aren’t they? I mean when I wrote about the lady’s scanty panties, I thought that I was talking about something that had escaped note of others, but it appears that I was wrong. I now realize that every second person (hopefully of the male variety) is looking for Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Panties! I believe that she should now get into the business of selling her panties. She can source panties at $2 per panty, snuggle in – wiggle out, and then sell them for $20 a panty. I can’t recall another business that operates on 90% GPM – can you?
Search Term 3: Shafali’s Caricature/Shafali’s Cartoon
This is something. Isn’t it? Folks, I know I am famous, but I am not that famous that you’d have cartoonists and caricaturists clamoring to draw my pulchritudinous physiognomy! And I am definitely not narcissistic enough to go on drawing myself.
Though in one of my previous posts, I said that my avatar looks a lot like me, I must admit doesn’t portray me too realistically. I’ve removed the third eye, the broken front upper tooth, the sharp canines, the broomstick hair, the bullet hole in my left cheek, and of course, that extra knob on my nose. I hope this description helps you visualize the real me. You are of course welcome to turn in your sketches made as per the true description given here. The best wins a special mention in a post and a … dark, deep, bloody kiss on the neck. (slurp!)
Search Term 4: Caricature Cartoon of Abhishek Bacchan by Shafali
Whew. This is what I was scared of. C’mon, dear searcher. I won’t draw the guy unless I was paid to draw him. His dad is the only Bachhan I’d draw of my own free will. Mr. Junior B will never motivate me enough, I am sorry folks but he just ain’t my cup of tea.
However, if you are really keen on a Bacchan, check out his dad, who’s still infinitely more interesting than all other Bollywood heroes put together.
Search Term 5: Caricature of a man who looks like a rat
Dear Searcher, you’ve got to be more explicit in your description. Could you please tell me the kind of rat that you want this man to look like. I mean, do you want a ratty sort of rat, or a mousey kind of cute one, or you’d like a field rat perhaps. And do tell me if you are looking for a tail too? Should I add some whiskers? And yes…one more question – should he be inside the trap or outside it?
But before you answer all these questions tell me this. You are looking for Saddam Hussein’s caricature, aren’t you?
Search Term 6: Cartoon tongue
A cartoon tongue?!
I am speechless.
Search Term 7: Caricature of Best Boss
What doesn’t exist cannot be caricatured. – The Caricaturist.
(Note: If you have indeed seen such a creature, run for you life! He (or she) must be a mutant, an alien, a vampire, a zombie, a ghost…anything but a human. Best Bosses, even real good bosses don’t exist! Nope. Never. Nada.
Search Term 8: IITian Cartoon
Ask this gentleman, who is an IITian, a writer, and an artist too!
Search Term 9: Shafali’s Characteristics
My characteristics? Let me think.
Well. Here’s the tip of the iceberg or the top 3 items on the list.
1. Black and White
2. Light and Dark
3. Sweet and Sour
But why are you interested in my characteristics? Are you worried that I might yet be another ingredient in the recipe of an anti-matter bomb?
Oh I get it. Your keyboard played a prank on you, you were looking for Shafali’s Caricatures…well, find them here 🙂
Search Term 10: Caricature walking on blood
Search Term 11: Cartoon Dog in Nazi Uniform
The closest I could get was this.
But what my dog tells me is that when they had tried to put a dog in the Nazi uniform he bit his handler!
Search Term 12: Hair on its own
Hah! All over my house – except on my head, where I think it belongs! I hate it when my hair speaks of freedom and independence – but then it watches TV, you know.
Thank you for the inspiration, my dear searchers.
Other posts in this series:
- Shafali Hitler shares Some More SEO Humor!
- Shafali’s Cartoon, A Football Rat, and Handsome Indian Men – Some Long Tail SEO Humor!