7 Googling Accidents – What they wanted and what they found.

There’s a saying that an empty mind is the devil’s workshop. Yesterday, my mind was empty, and so the devil rented it for a day, set up office, and went rummaging my stats.

This is what it found:

1. madurie dik shet necked pic

Either you know what that is or you don’t. The underside of being a screen-diva is that about half the world population wants to witness you in all your “necked” glory. It doesn’t matter if the diva is now past her prime, it doesn’t matter if she now wears the highly respectable shoes of an Indian mom, all they want it to see her “necked” pic. Now why a passionate search for such “pics” of Ms. Dik shet should bring someone to my blog is beyond my comprehension. I never sketched nor painted Ms. Dik shet, and I never draw necked pics. In fact, sometimes, even the mice I draw are either wearing diapers or at least a bandolier.

2. download images of scheching in acters

Scheching in acters? What is scheching?

• Scratching?
• Measles?
• A euphemism of something unspeakable?

Or could it be a euphemism for sketches? Aha. Perhaps it is. Glad I got it right. But why download such images, if not for the nefarious purpose of painting over another artist’s sketch. Over the years I’ve received odd requests. A lady wanted to “copy” my caricatures and sell them with my permission; a gentleman wanted to use a drawing to create a 3D model of the face with it, another young man wanted to use a caricature for his avatar. I come across bloggers using images of paintings that they found by googling in their blogposts – without a permission statement/declaration that it’s a free image.

3. +18 caricature stories

Now this is a 66 percent match! caricatures and stories you can find here but unfortunately the +18 stuff isn’t. (I presume +18 is the steamy stuff of the “necked” kind.) I am genuinely curious to find how that search-string was born. Do people really enjoy +18 stories drawn as caricatures? Perhaps they do. Years ago I heard of a comic that presented a certain bhabhi (elder brother’s wife,) a +18 super-woman who engaged in various +18 acts with a wide-range of men. I am not a caricaturist who does those kind of drawings. Sorry searcher. You’ve got to take your searches elsewhere.

4. pics of dirty and comedy indian people with name laxman

I’m lost again. Dirty and comedy Indian people with name Laxman? Specifically named Laxman? Huh? I know that dirty clothes can actually make you look funny (comedy) but only if the dirt tells a story. My blog isn’t about Laxman, nor about dirty and “comedy” people, and so I trust that this searcher didn’t find what he or she was looking for, at least on my blog. I wish the searcher luck and cleanliness.

5. death caricatures

What?
Are you really looking for caricatures of death? I am not sure if I’ve understood your requirement correctly. I also have a feeling that upon arriving on my blog, you felt cheated. You wanted to give me a single-star rating and tell me that you didn’t find what you had expected, and so in your opinion my blog isn’t good, while I’ll continue to wonder how a basket of fresh apples could be rotten just because you were looking for oranges.

6. pictures of ugly people cartoon drawing of a naked woman

???

Ok. Pick one of the following:

• Ugly people drawing naked woman
• Cartoon drawing of ugly people with naked woman
• Cartoon drawing of naked woman watching pictures of ugly people
  Pictures of ugly people that’ve grown hands and are now animatedly drawing a naked woman

Now the clincher.

None of these options are available on this blog. Ugly and naked don’t happen here.

7. was cleopatra ugly ?

Finally. Now this is a question that only an intelligent person can ask. Cleopatra’s pedigree doesn’t matter. The fact that she was the last Pharaoh of Egypt doesn’t matter. That she could seduce both Caesar and Antony and wrap them around her pinkie doesn’t matter. All her accomplishments don’t matter. She couldn’t have become this famous by using her brains – could she? If she weren’t beautiful, then how in the world she did all that?

Good question. It is answered on this blog. Search again.

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The Caricaturist meets and befriends Anthony Tweiner in Atlantis!

New Visitors, Please excuse this idle prattle of a flu-ridden caricaturist who has temporarily lost her ability to appreciate the difference between reality and fiction. Usually she isn’t like this. When sane, she knows that Atlantis is real, Internet is virtual, and the real world is fictitious. If you are here on a serious errand, please don’t waste another precious moment on this post.

1. If you are looking for caricatures to ridicule a celebrity of your choice, please click the Gallery Icon in the right sidebar.
2. If you want to learn how to draw caricatures and/or are specifically looking for my book “The Evolution of the Caricaturist”, again check the sidebar, and add your email id in the tiny form given there, or use this link here. I’ll email you when it comes out on the App Store. It is due to arrive there shortly.
3. If you are wondering why the Interactive tutorials aren’t up yet, it’s because I lost the free fonts that I had used in those tutorials and now I need to replace the fonts, reformat the tutorials, and re-export them before I serve them from my new site.

None of the above?

Then please read on.

Most of my readers know that Atlantis is my favorite blog-holiday destination. When I disappear from the blogosphere, it’s because I’ve snuck off to Atlantis.  I am still here in Atlantis and I am here of my own volition. You don’t have to remind me that the first time that I visited Atlantis ever, it was not because I wanted to, but because I was abducted. You may call it the Stockholm Syndrome, but I developed a soft-corner for my abductors when I realized that all they wanted from me was to create a caricature illustration of a happy couple, which could be given to them as a wedding gift.

I happily complied with their wishes, completed the caricature, enjoyed the party, and went off to bed in a beautiful room that had a huge glass wall on one side. On the other side of this wall was the ocean, and I could see the corals,  the sea urchins, and also a giant vampire squid that had this really scary unblinking stare.  I admit that the wall was slightly unnerving on my first night there, but I soon got used to it.

In fact, I gave the squid a name – Anthony Tweiner. In my humble opinion, the Atlantasian vampire squids are the Sheldon Coopers of sea.  I say this because on my next visit to Atlantis, I requested for the same room and tapped Anthony Tweiner on the glass wall, and Mr. Tweiner, who was nowhere to be seen until then, appeared suddenly, recognized me and dashed towards the wall. Thankfully all his weiners…oops, tweiners (it appears that I can’t get over my tryst with Mr. Anthony Weiner’s caricature,) were neatly tucked in behind him, or he would’ve broken a couple. He was happy…, rather elated…, umm…, actually rhapsodic, to see me back. I too was happy, but about something else. I celebrated his lack of access to an Internet connection or he would have tweeted the closeups of all his tweiners to me – and the kind of open-minded society that Atlantis is, they would’ve told me that it was Mr. Tweiner’s way of paying me a compliment.

Anyway, I don’t want to split my split-ended hair anymore, nor spin a long yarn longer, so to snip them both short – I’ve been visiting Atlantis quite often. And why not? They pay well and they treat me like a queen, because none of the Atlantasians draw (you won’t either, if you were living in a Utopia that had a per capita annual income of $100K (that’s the exact double of the US), no taxes, no sexism, no racism, no terrorism, none of those other myriad -isms that humanity is plagued with.)  They’ve also set up a small studio and office for me to work from, and anointed me as the National Caricaturist of Atlantis. And I must not forget to mention that I’ve got Anthony Tweiner to keep me entertained.

This is why I sneak off to Atlantis whenever I can, my friends.

… …?

What was that?

Why you?

Speak up please. I can’t hear you.

Why you, why not us?

Oh I get it. You are wondering why I get to become to the National Caricaturist of Atlantis, and why not you.

Yes. Why?

It’s simple my friend. I believe in Atlantis, so I get to go there, I get to meet all those cool Atlantasians, I get to befriend Anthony Tweiner, and of course, become their National Caricaturist…

You see, it’s quite like religion. They say if you believe in heaven, you find it; if you don’t then you don’t. If you believe in Atlantis, you’ll find it; if you don’t, you won’t.

So, will I see you here, sometime soon?

Announcement – Blog Carnival for Bloggers – Tell the Story-in-the-Caricature – December 2010 – Edition 7!

Dear visitors, bloggers made of matter as well as antimatter, and all other esteemed treasure-seekers,

The November 2010 Storytelling Blog Carnival was…well, to be honest…it had but one participating entry – so, you can’t even say that it was a carnival 😦

But let’s not worry about the past; let us charge into the future!

Here’s the caricature for the December Carnival.

What's his story?

Here are the Rules for the Carnival:

1. Write a story, small or big, about this caricature.

2. Publish the story on your blog, along with this caricature.

3. Leave the link to your post, as a comment to this post here.

4. The festival ends at the midnight of December 31, 2010.

The Three Rewards for this Story Carnival:

1. All the story links added for stories published along with the above caricature, until the last date, will be published on this blog in January  2011, along with the blog-address, and a link to the About Page of your blog.

2. The blog addresses of the participating bloggers will find way into my “The Storytellers” blogroll, and of course in the Carnival posts that I make through out this month.

3. We will also request all the story-writers to publish the links of other story-writers in a blog-post on their respective blogs. This will help the story writers find more readers – but of course, this would be voluntary.

An Important Note:

This blog has absolutely no tolerance for pornography and abusive language and so any comment/story containing such material will automatically disqualify from the Carnival.

Let your creative juices flow…tell us your story 🙂

Where is the Antimatter from the Big Bang? I know and I fear for my Life! – A Tiny Verbal Caricature.

I have been invited to speak at a seminar called “Psychological Matters” in a parallel world made of Antimatter. They have couriered an antimatter suit that I should get into at that exact point in time when I step over the threshold of the portal.

The problem is, the CERN scientists got a whiff of it (what with NSA breaking all humanitarian laws to go snooping and sniffing into the emails of innocent people like me) and they traded the information with CERN for their share of Antimatter when its isolated in a reasonable quantity. The grapevine says that as a down payment they are demanding half of the Million Antiprotons that have been isolated.  So there’s this flock of CERN scientists running after me. They want me to lead them to the Antimatter, and because despite all their theories they haven’t been able to find out where all that antimatter of the matter-ial universe landed after the Big Bang!

I was to return in two days – but now I am scared. I expect those scientists to be lurking near the portal, hoping to get into the portal as I get out of it…and there’s going to be a stampede, I assume because when in a crowd, even the scientists don’t think – so they’d be climbing over one another to snatch the antimatter suit from me and get to the other side!

All this is too scary to be posted in your favorite Caricature blog – isn’t it? I’d even classify it as mature matter! So please stay away – expect explosions in a couple of days from now – when I return!

Announcement – Blog Carnival for Bloggers – Tell the Story-in-the-Caricature – November 2010 – Edition 6!

Dear Visitors, Aliens, Occasional-stopperbys, and Everyone Else in this Beautiful Virtual world,

The October Carnival ended on October 31, 2010 – on a really low note (sniff!) I guess the drawing failed to get your creative juices flowing. But two brave-hearts persisted.

Here are their stories:

• Robin & Beth, a lovely romantic story with an unusual twist,  by Creative Barbwire .
• The Trump Card , an eye-for-an-eye story by currently Blog-less Oorvi.

Now if you are wondering why I am still keen on continuing the Blog Carnival, the answer is:  I have a lot of faith in my fellow bloggers. I know that there are many who are sitting on a gold-mine of talent (including some who’ve recently visited mine,) and that one day, I’ll come up with a caricature, which will make them want to write a fabulous story.

So, here’s the Caricature for the November Story-in-the-Caricature Blog Carnival, which I hope will inspire you to write:)

O Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou?

The rules remain the same, but I am adding a new constraint.

Your story SHOULD have a Romeo and a Juliet, who are called Romeo and Juliet, respectively!

Here are the rules:

1. Write a story, small or big, about this caricature.

2. Publish the story on your blog, along with this caricature (A link to this blog would be appreciated, but it isn’t necessary.)

3. Leave the link to your post, as a comment to this post here.

4. The festival ends at the midnight of November 30, 2010 (Tuesday.)

The Three Rewards for this Story Carnival:

1. All the story links added until the last date, will be published on this blog in November 2010, along with the blog-address, and a link to the About Page of your blog.

2. The blog addresses of the participating bloggers will find way into my “The Storytellers” blogroll.

3. We will also request all the story-writers to publish the links of other story-writers in a blog-post on their respective blogs. This will help the story writers find more readers – but of course, this would be voluntary.

An Important Note:

This blog has absolutely no tolerance for pornography and abusive language and so any comment/story containing such material will automatically disqualify from the Carnival.

Waiting to hear from you, O fellow bloggers! Tell us your story!

Caricature/Cartoon Russell Crowe – The Man with a Beautiful Mind, the Master and Commander enjoys the new Gladiator Costume.

Here’s the caricature of Russell Crowe in his gladiator costume, sans the stubble that he sports in the movie!

This Costume suits me. Doesn’t it?

Russell Crowe’s Shortest Biography on the Web:

Born in New Zealand on April 7th, 1964, Russell Crowe is an Australian actor. He began his acting career with television and later worked in the movies. He has received the best actor Academy Award (the Oscar) for his role in the film Gladiator. He is also a musician, loves cricket and horses, and is known for his temper.

Now, wasn’t that the shortest biography of Russell Crowe, on the Internet?

Some of the Best Russell Crowe Movies:

(I’ve seen these movies and so I heartily recommend them to anyone who likes to watch extraordinary stuff.)

• A Beautiful Mind
• Gladiator
• Proof of Life
• Master and Commander
• and Virtuosity (I could never have imagined him in this role…

(Which ones do you like the best?)

The Russell Crowe movies that I’d like to watch are:

• L. A. Confidential
• The Insider (Check the Wikipedia page here. Can you believe the number of awards and nominations this film received?!)

Russell Crowe Quotes:

• I like villains because there’s something so attractive about a committed person – they have a plan, an ideology, no matter how twisted. They’re motivated.
• I really feel sorry for people who are, who divide their whole life up into ‘things that I like’ and ‘things that I must do.’ You’re only here for a short time, mate. Learn to like it.
• People accuse me of being arrogant all the time. I’m not arrogant, I’m focused.

(Source: Brainy Quotes)

Well that’s that then. Enjoy the caricature, send it across to your friends, print it and put it under your pillow:) And of course, comment on this post:)

Caricature/Cartoon – Ben Kingsley as Mahatma Gandhi in Gandhi

This simple caricature necessitates the introduction of two personalities – the great political and spiritual leader of India, Mahatma Gandhi; and the awe-inspiring actor Ben Kingsley.

This is the caricature of Ben Kingsley as Mahatma Gandhi, in the movie Gandhi.

Ben Kingsley as Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi – Father of the Nation, India.

Mahatma Gandhi was born Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi in Porbandar, Gujarat, India, in 1869. In 1883, when he was 13, he married Kasturba who was slightly older to him. The couple had four children, with Harilal being the eldest. Gandhi studied law at the University College of London , and returned to India after having completed his studies. He tried establishing his practice at Mumbai but failed. Eventually, he joined an Indian firm in South Africa , where for the first time, he faced raw discrimination or Apartheid . For the first time in his life, he consciously began to reflect upon the status of Indians in the world.

The foundations of Satyagraha (Insistence on Truth) were laid in Africa. When Gandhi returned to India in 1915, he came to understand the Indian problems. After his efforts in Gujarat, people began to call him Bapu (Father) and Mahatma (Great Soul/Person). In 1921, he became the leader of the Indian National Congress , and the fight for Swaraj (Our own rule) gained ground. Gandhi continued to evolve the Civil Disobedience Movement through policies such as wearing Khadi (hand-spun fabric) (he himself would hand-spin cotton thread to be used for his clothes.)

In the next three decades, Gandhi became the face of an India that wanted to be free. Eventually, when India was offered independence, it was on the condition that India would be partitioned into India and Pakistan. A reluctant Gandhi gave in and India (also Pakistan) gained its freedom at the midnight of August 15, 1947.

The pioneer of the Satyagraha movement, which was based upon Non-Violence, in India, today Gandhi is known as the Father of Nation.
as his movement helped India win her freedom from the British Raj. On January 30, 1948, Gandhi was assassinated by Nathuram Godse, who held him responsible for partitioning India.

Read about Gandhi’s Life and His Eleven Principles here.

Ben Kingsley – The Actor who played Gandhi

Ben Kingsley’s father Harji Bhanji was born of Indian parents, who had settled in Kenya, but who moved to England when he was 14. Thus, Ben Kingsley was born Krishna Pandit Bhanji – son of a Gujarati Indian Doctor and an English Actress, in the year 1943.

“Sir” Ben Kinglsey (he demanded to be called “Sir” after he was knighted) has won many awards (including a Grammy) and also a star on the Hollywood Walk of fame.
His rise to fame began in 1982, when he starred as Mahatma Gandhi in the movie Gandhi. For this role, he bagged the Academy Award for Best Actor and also the BAFTA award for the Best New Comer.

• Ben Kingsley on Wikipedia
• Ben Kingsley on IMDB

So have you seen the connections yet?

• Both can trace their origins to Gujarat in India.
• Their noses look the same.
• England played a crucial role in the success of both these gentlemen.
• Kingsley popularized Gandhi internationally; Gandhi made Kingsley famous by helping him earn an Academy Award.

(The Caricaturist Wonders – Ben Kingsley was born five years before Gandhi died so it couldn’t have been a case of reincarnation…or…)

Caricature/Cartoon – Brad Pitt and Achilles’ Dilemma in Troy.

What’s he thinking?

I Need Them…Pronto!

I didn’t know that Brad Pitt could look so handsome, until I watched Troy (and until I DIDN’T watch “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and “Interview with a Vampire.”) In Troy, his bronzed body, his rippling muscles, and his little golden lock bound in itsy-bitsy leather straps, must’ve made him the heart-throb of every movie-going teenager/tweener/thirtier…! But the best-kept secret about Troy was that it didn’t have a single shop that sold good quality heel-guards! In fact, Achilles spent a lot of time, going shop to shop…hoping that he’d find one – so that his heel stayed intact!

Now, you tell me – what was Brad’s Achilles’ heel when it came to his relationship with Ms. High-brow Angelina Jolie (The Brangelina Fever)? (you don’t believe that she’s a high-brow – right? Wait for her Caricature to appear on your favorite caricature blog!) Why didn’t their relationship work out? Who lurked in the shadows…and who came between this happy Hollywood couple (or who all – if we could take cues from the original Tiger Woods Musical Chairs that he played with about twenty (nineteen/fourteen – I don’t remember) beauties)? Is it that an old relationship (with Jennifer Aniston) refuses to die? And also…what exactly is in the air? A Divorce or a Separation? Are they really married?

I am confused.

If you know the answers to these questions, please enlighten this ignorant caricaturist through your comment on this post. Your answers could become part of a star-studded post on this blog, which I intend to call – “The TMZ Caricature!”

(Check out the TMZ Website for the Brangelina rumor – Oprah Winfrey’s blacklisted Brangelina from her show!)

And now, it’s time for a short non-commercial break – Don’t go away!

(Nice tune of unidentified origins.)
Coming up shortly…Celebrity Caricature Calendars of the printable sort! Do return for your copy.
(Another nice tune of unidentified origins.)

Thanks for being with me…
Now it’s time for me to say good-bye. In the next post of this blog, we shall meet the caricature of Angelina Jolie, and ask her what went wrong…
until then…
stay with me – I am Shafali, and…

(PS: Did I get carried away with that “Caricature of a Talk-show”?)

Update – March 14, 2010.

Download the Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy Hollywood Celebrities Calendar for 2010 here.