The World Ends tomorrow and a Seat on the Ark is selling for Billions!

Updated: December 21, 2012 a.k.a. Doom’s Day a.k.a Mayan Apocalypse. Note: The threat still looms large. 21st has not even begun in the US, and we don’t really know anything about the time-zone that the Mayans had in mind, when they prophesied the end of the world.

I am updating this post because in the last 12 hours, this blog has been inundated with more than a hundred instances of the query, “What Time does the World end?” Honestly, my incredible omniscience fails to tell me the exact time and also the exact time zone for this once in the earth’s lifetime event. But when I switched on my computer this morning, I was driven to draw this guy, who really wants to know.

Doomsday humor cartoon - what time does the world end - on Mayan Apocalypse - December 21, 2012

Will someone please tell us the exact time, so that we can stop waiting and start working?!

Oh, I forgot to mention. There’s a Doomsday Discount on the above cartoon. If you want to take it away with you for your blog, you are welcome to do so 🙂 It’s free. The sale ends along with the world!

 

Folks,

If you’ve kept your eyes and ears open, you must know that the world is going to end tomorrow (December 21, 2012.) This key information comes from the Mayans, and so it has to be absolutely correct. What? You are questioning it? Are you crazy? The Mayans knew. How?! Don’t you know? Those guys were the original programmers of this world matrix, and they planned an auto-shutdown of the Universe program on the date in question.
We are really running short of time here, so let me skip ahead and talk about more important things.

You see, I’ve been frantically searching for any information on a Noah’s Ark-alike that leaves from my city. So far, I’ve found out nothing. I think people don’t want to share this information on the Internet, because only two humans from every city are allowed to board the ark. Sources who’ve requested anonymity say that only politicians will be allowed to board the ark, and that some seats in the hull are going for Millions of Dollars. I also hear that Paris Hilton, Lady Gaga, and Justin Bieber have already secured their passage into the new world by parting with almost all their riches.

So why isn’t the media reporting this corruption around the Ark-deal? Oh well! Those media guys are going to be stowaways. It’s rumored that these arks were built with secret compartments to ensure that the best of the best (read: the politicians, the paparazzi, and the stinking rich) will be able to escape the inevitable, either directly or indirectly.

If you have any information on this matter, please leave it here in a comment. I have a feeling that if you had such information, you must’ve already been brain-washed into believing that you’d have a seat on the ark, if you just remained silent; but my friend, they are playing with you. Mark my words, if the world ends tomorrow…billions of us would be standing together bidding farewell to our politicians and others of their kind.

Now, the second important question…

What’s the exact time at which the world is expected to end? Any information will be deeply appreciated and widely distributed.

Wicked dogs don’t want to work, and a depressed pretzel watches as Nike Women just do it!

When the Caricaturist was stuck inside her computer for three long days and three long nights, she spent most of her waking hours interacting with her files and folders. While there were many files that had to be “exterminated”, there were some that were saved. One of these files had some funny Search terms that had brought people to my blog in the past six months.

Here are some that I thought I must share with my sweet readers. I’ve added my first reaction to the term along. You are welcome to share yours 🙂

Search Term 1: Caricatures of wicked dogs

Huh?! Wicked dogs?  Really? Wicked DOGs? WICKED dogs? I don’t know of any, and I’ve known more dogs than humans. Excuse my brutal honesty, but wicked is an adjective that applies exclusively to humans. So, dear searcher, I am not sure if you’ll ever succeed in your quest. Even if you are able to find a caricature of a so-called wicked dog, I assure you that the subject of that caricature never existed – and so, such a caricature would be a work of fiction.

Search Term 2: Don’t want to work cartoons

Now this searcher has my complete attention. “Don’t want to work” is the stable human state. You know about stable states, don’t you? “Want to work” is the exact opposite state of “Don’t want to work,” and unfortunately “Want to work” a highly unstable, extremely volatile state to be in. If a person stays in “Want to work” state for too long, he or she might become explosive. I hope that this searcher succeeds in his or her quest of truth.

Search Term 3: Justin Beaver

Yep! Justin “Beaver”. It’s so much more meaningful than that other surname that he uses…Bieber or something.
Beaver, according to this Wikipedia entry here is: “a primarily nocturnal, large, semi-aquatic rodent.” Makes a lot of sense, especially to the Crabby Old Farts. While I am not sure about the “large” and the “semi-aquatic” part, I’d accept “nocturnal” (as it applies to everyone connected with the music industry) and “rodent” (check out his hair!)

Search Term 4: Depressed Pretzel

An oxymoron. I can’t believe that a pretzel can actually be depressed. This search term doesn’t make sense to me – unless the searcher was in fact looking for my Toony Pretezel about Loneliness and Depression. Hey Presto! Here’s the said Pretzel!A Toony Pretzels Cartoon - A take on Facebook Depression - Defining Loneliness - emails, facebook, twitter, blog - Depressed Woman.

Search Term 5: Nike women just do it!

I disagree. I think Nike women are a lot more discerning. They don’t just do it…they do it properly. But what would I know, I am an Adidas woman. Nike women are welcome to comment.

Search Term 6: How to draw someone holding a pencil in mouth

Easy! Draw someone and then draw a pencil in his mouth!

Search Term 7: Handsome Caricature

Hmm… Let me see. A handsome caricature…? I think I should point you to my Caricature Gallery. All my caricatures are handsome enough… at least they look handsome to me. It’s the same old reasoning that makes the Rhino-mom think that her baby rhino is the cutest kid in the universe…if you catch my drift.

Search Term 8: Brainy Kid Cartoon/Studious Girl Cartoon/Genius Caricature

Hah. You are looking for portraits…not cartoons or caricatures, my friend! Just get a photograph and you are done.

Search Term 9: Handsome Indian Men Naked

How many times do I have to tell you, my dear searcher o’mine blog? For Indian men, handsome and nakedness don’t go together! In fact, handsomeness and Indian-ness seldom goes together. We are some of the smartest people on planet Earth (and we are smart enough not to let people know that we are,) but we aren’t really “handsome” or “beautiful” – and we aren’t talking about the exceptions who prove the rule. (One exceptionally creative Italian lady would like to mention a few names here. She will try her best to discredit me, but then I ask her – has she seen those “handsome” India men naked? Ever?)

Search Term 10: Indian Nudes

Oh, c’mon! The only Indian artist who had the guts to have herself photographed naked and then paint some naked self-portraits was Amrita Shergill, and she couldn’t have done it if she were a commoner or even completely (and I mean it in the genetic sense,) Indian. Her mom was French, and Indians are quite forgiving of the lapses by semi-firangs (semi-foreigners.) And yet, something drove Amrita Shergill to commit suicide at the young age of 28.

 We have come a long way since then…my friend. Now we don’t even dare to think of doing “terrible” stuff like that. Stay safe, my friend, stay safe!

For some inexplicable reason, if you are interested in reading more SEO Humor (humor? Really?) posts, here are four other loony posts that I made in the past.

Caricature/Cartoon of the Teen Sensation Justin Bieber… and of his Hair!

I’d like to begin by apologizing for my long absence from blogging. While I could write unbelievable yet true stories about my being abducted to Atlantis or my journey into and out (no, not that way,) of a polar bear’s belly, but I have changed. I have transformed into a serious, good-for-nothing, dreamy-eyed artist, and so I must tell you the truth. I was busy, and I still am, but I was so ashamed of my tardiness that I decided it was time that I made this post about Just-in Bee-burr!

If you are below 18, you may try to scratch my eyes out for caricaturing your heart throb, the oh-so-cute Bee-burr, but the adults of this world, the ones who really count (in my opinion,) will appreciate my ability to recognize, and then remember this young boy with diamond earrings and…well, a thatch of golden hair that keeps changing its direction. You see, at my age, all kids begin to look-alike.

Here’s his caricature with his golden hackles up!

Justin Bieber - Caricature, Cartoon, Painting, Digitally Colored drawing of the Teen Sensation.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the boy. He’s neat and clean, and cute, and he’s even finished High School in order to please his mom (who’s quite young herself.) I’d say that his achievement of becoming a multi-millionaire at this tender age is dwarfed by these other important achievements. I mean, kids his age try their best to look as shabby as a porcupine that’s been out all night, and they compete to find the most effective method to make their parents unhappy. But Bee-burr isn’t like all other kids and moms would be mighty pleased to see their kids emulate him.

A Quick Bio of the Teen-Icon Justin Bieber

Just-in burst upon the American music scene when he was barely thirteen! Moms, tune in…this is how it happened. Justin’s mom made YouTube video of her son’s performance in a local singing competition. Now, there’s this particular African-American genre of music that originated in the 40s called Rhythm and Blues (lazily called R&B), and young Bieber sang in this genre. Now a gentleman called Mr. Scooter Braun discovered one of his videos and figured that the boy had talent, and so he found him out and then scooted him away to Atlanta. The rest is…as I’d say, recent history, and full of mind-boggling details too! So, if you’d like to boggle your mind, tap the mother lode of all information here.

Oh…I forgot to mention. He was born on March 01, 1994, in Canada, and his middle name is Drew.

Interesting Bites about Bee-burr!

  • Bieber’s hairstyles have been as famous as he is. (In fact, I found an online game that gives you the opportunity to cut Justin Bieber’s hair. I don’t know if they have Bieber’s permission to play with his magical locks.) His first hairstyle made him look like he was going up at -g (Check out Alfred E. Neuman with a Justin Bieber Hairstyle here.) and then second makes him look like he is going down at g. I am sure that all this means nothing really, because his career continues to climb.
  • Bieber doesn’t want US citizenship (if that slot is free, I’ll be happy to take it,) and he’s happy being a Canadian. (Come to think of it, if I were a Canadian, I’d be happy too. I mean a grand total of 35 Million people living on 9,985,000 km² would mean that only about three (two?)-and-a-half men (oops! Corrected – people,) live on a square kilometer. With that kind of space, nobody from the neighborhood would bother complaining about a young boy who practices singing at odd hours in the night.)
  • Justin gifted a song to his mom.
  • Justin is going steady with another singer Selena Gomez, two years his senior. Good boy. It’s time to tell the world that a woman can be a man’s senior and they could still share a great relationship.
  • And for the Justin-crazy lot…if you aren’t already there (fat chance, I know,) here’s Bieber’s Facebook page, and here’s his Twitter handle (He had 26,872,932 followers when I checked his page and he gets a new one every second, so don’t blame me if the number has changed.)