Caricature/Cartoon Keira Knightley, a Beautiful Scarecrow, and Two Beer-drinking Mice

Keira Knightley debuts on your favorite Caricature blog.

I know that we’ve been waiting for the lady to make an appearance here, for a very long time. I’ve been talking about her caricature for near about three months now. Whenever her appearance was announced here, there would be some last-minute change in her schedule, and we’d go back sulking. But then last-minute changes in schedule are the mark of a true diva…right?

I am glad to announce that I’ve finally found the evasive caricature of Ms. Keira Knightley, the lady whose inability to make her mind up almost cost Captain Jack Sparrow his life.

Presenting Ms. Knightley.

Caricature, Cartoon, sketch, portrait of Keira Knightley of Pirates of the Caribbean as a scarecrow with two beer-drinking mice.

A Short Biography of Keira Knightley

(Thanks to the one and only Wikipedia.)

Keira Knightley was born in London, England, in a family of actors. Quite like many other actors and artists who make it big, Keira too was diagnosed with dyslexia. This obviously isn’t much of a handicap when you are an actor, perhaps this is why at the age of six when it was discovered that she was a dyslexic, she became an actor. She acted in many movies before she got the opportunity to work in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Keira was 14 when she acted in this movie.

In 2001, at the age of 16, she got her first role as a grown up. This was in a movie called Princess of Thieves. She worked in a few other movies but it wasn’t until she acted in Bend it Like Beckham, that she got her big break, and people began to recognize her. Four years later, she played the character of Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, and establish herself as more than just a pretty face.

Other more interesting bytes about Keira:

  • Keira has appeared in the FHM’s (For Him Magazine of UK) 100 sexiest women of the world (I am not linking to the magazine’s site for obvious reasons.) again and again, and she topped the list in 2006. (I know that most women will find it difficult to believe, but it’s impossible to figure out a man’s mind – isn’t it? And oh, I should also tell you that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley of the panties fame, topped the list for 2011. I can’t stop wondering how Jennifer Lopez (twice, 2000 and 2001) and these two could get to the same spot in the same magazine!! Perhaps, it’s a mark of changing times.)
  • She says that she’s got no life outside of acting, which implies that her friends and family can never be sure whether they are talking to the actor or the character.
  • She’s NOT an anorexic and she’s got nothing to do with girls who stop eating so that they may look emaciated and thus make it to FHM’s 100 sexiest women of the world, and die in the process.
  • She is expected to marry singer James Righton, and the caricaturist hopes that they’ll beat the average marriage longevity among Hollywood couples.

Click for a list of Keira Knightley’s movies, along with the names of the characters she played in them,
So how much does Keira weigh and What’s her BMI?

Curiosity is such a b…well, a…lady dog. I checked it out myself and was shocked to learn that Keira’s BMI is 17.23!

A BMI of less than 18.5 means that you are underweight. This site has this advice for Keira:

“You should consult your physician to determine if you should gain weight, as low body mass can decrease your body’s immune system, which could lead to illness such as disappearance of periods (women), bone loss, malnutrition and other conditions. The lower your BMI the greater these risks become.”

Wow! If I were Keira, I’d act pronto. If you know her, stop telling her that she looks great and send her to the Doctor. That poor little rich girl needs help.

Those forgotten caricatures…

Dear Friends of this crazy caricaturist,

My guilty conscience is arm-twisting me into making this post, but then just as what you say when a gun is being held to your temple is always the truth, so is this statement of apology, and the contents therein.

I’ve got those caricatures (Keira Knightley etc.) sketched and ready to be launched remorselessly on my poor unsuspecting visitor, but I haven’t posted them yet. Why? Because this caricaturist isn’t happy being a caricaturist, she wants her caricatures to tell stories. So when she draws this caricature of Robert De Niro or this caricature of Stalin, she isn’t happy. She wants to create something like this caricature of Morgan Freeman or this caricature of Hitler!

Shhhh…listen up. Someone’s whispering bad-somethings about the caricaturist.

Alter-Kreacher: Nasty, nasty caricaturist… with tons of gender-bias! She isn’t bothered about her male visitors at all or she’d also mention this caricature of Pamela Anderson – the only one she’s made that can make a feeble attempt of tickling her male visitor’s fantasies.

Shafali the Caricaturist: Disappear, you snake! Go sink your poisonous fangs somewhere else, or the caricaturist will use an 8B to blacken them out! This caricaturist is completely aware of the viewing needs of her male visitors! She has drawn another caricature that’s bound to make the male visitors do a double-take, though she’d advise caution. Remember the caricature of Sarah Palin?! Now go kill yourself.

Alter-Kreacher: <shuffles away mumbling.>

(I’d like to thank Ms. JK Rowling for creating Kreacher and Warner Brothers for making the movie “Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix“, which I watched yesterday, and which inspired Alter-Kreacher.)

Now that Alter-Kreacher has gotten his much-deserved kick-in-the-butt, let me assure you that Ms. Keira Knightley’s caricature will be here soon, and so will be some others. It’s just that I am usually working on about 10 projects at a time, of which 2 are the food-on-the-table variety, and I end up giving priority to those projects. I know…foolish, foolish me. Did I learn nothing from Van Gogh? His methods couldn’t make him famous and rich when he was alive, but at least they made many others rich and Van Gogh famous, after he died. Wondering what I am talking about? Read, “The 4 Types of Artists – Starving, Dying, Dead, and Rich!

I’ll return soon…

 

 

 

 

 

What has the Caricaturist been doing? – A Personal Post.

New Visitor – Please be warned.

While you are welcome to read this post, it mightn’t make much sense to you. This post is for those who know everything (well, almost everything) about me. They know about my excursions into parallel worlds and my tours into the past; they know that I remember most of my past lives in vivid details – especially the one in which I was born a dinosaur; and they know that I spend most of my time doing stuff that’s got nothing to do with making caricatures.

If you still want to read on, please don’t hold me responsible if nothing makes sense to you. 

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What has the caricaturist been doing? Other than apparently “foolishly” refusing to accept the once-in-a-lifetime offer of having a designer clothing line based exclusively on her designs, deleting funny comments from septuagenarians who are more interested in her photograph than in her work, and annoying those who have her best interests at heart.

Well, she’s been:

  • reading a novel called Isis Reach by David Elvar and wondering how the author came up with Shona Madoc, the beautiful and intelligent protagonist of this paranormal mystery, and whether he had some personal paranormal experiences that made the novel so interesting to read.
  • wondering why Mark Zuckerberg‘s got mired in all the controversy that he’s got mired in, and how she can bring herself to believe what they say about him – he’s so young and he’s got an ultra-cute face – regardless of that bump in his nose. I know that my reason sounds flimsy, but that’s the best I can come up with.
  • trying to make up her mind whether or not she should buy a couple of new floral skirts for the summers.
  • booking her flight-tickets to Atlantis. On her last trip to the wonder-city, she had left her favorite mechanical pencil there, and she needs to get it back. Pronto.
  • thinking why she needs to bother herself with drawing Keira Knightley‘s body at all? I mean, who’d notice?
  • trying to engineer a clock that fits 48 hours in a day. If she’s able to do this, a hundred years from now, she’d be known as the Leonardo da Vinci of the twenty-first century.

Though there are other things that she’s been doing – but if the last one works out, they wouldn’t matter; so the super-optimist yet ultra-practical caricaturist now refuses to waste your time as well as hers, telling you about her other crazy pursuits.

That’s all for now, friends. I hope to return with Robert de Niro‘s caricature soon 🙂

Can you Pull yourself up?! The Caricaturist asked and Confused herself.

Can you pull yourself up?

Imagine that you are sitting in a loop at one end of a rope passing over a pulley attached to the ceiling, holding the other end of the rope in your hand (please recall a similar dilemma, which our dear pathetic Romeo faced,)  The question is – can you pull yourself up? What’s your answer?

  1. No way! Nobody could do that!
  2. I can’t do it but I am sure that Schwarzenegger could.
  3. I can’t but Keira Knightley could. (BTW, interesting picture on that link…the third when you scroll down – 99% of the women in this world won’t be able to wear that dress without making it look vulgar.)
  4. I can but nobody else can.

What do you say?

I’ll share my personal experience. I was down in the dungeon of Sloth, waiting for the devil to send his minions to get me – so that I could burn in hell for my deadly sin when I had this inspiration. I thought that I’d shed sloth and confess my sins on my blog, and everything’d slide back to normal! So I tried to pull myself up and out…and I wore myself out the last three days trying to get out, but I failed.  Fortunately, just before the minions arrived, Oprah Winfrey came to me with a conditional pardon from Hell. I am under observation and if I don’t become lazy again, I might be a free woman again.

So, despite the complete lack of response for the Story Carnival, I am smiling:) I’ll post a caricature of the sad me soon, when I share my Story Carnival woes with you. In the meantime, I’m back on duty – Oprah wants a payback for her good deed:-)