The World Ends tomorrow and a Seat on the Ark is selling for Billions!

Updated: December 21, 2012 a.k.a. Doom’s Day a.k.a Mayan Apocalypse. Note: The threat still looms large. 21st has not even begun in the US, and we don’t really know anything about the time-zone that the Mayans had in mind, when they prophesied the end of the world.

I am updating this post because in the last 12 hours, this blog has been inundated with more than a hundred instances of the query, “What Time does the World end?” Honestly, my incredible omniscience fails to tell me the exact time and also the exact time zone for this once in the earth’s lifetime event. But when I switched on my computer this morning, I was driven to draw this guy, who really wants to know.

Will someone please tell us the exact time, so that we can stop waiting and start working?!

Oh, I forgot to mention. There’s a Doomsday Discount on the above cartoon. If you want to take it away with you for your blog, you are welcome to do so 🙂 It’s free. The sale ends along with the world!

 

Folks,

If you’ve kept your eyes and ears open, you must know that the world is going to end tomorrow (December 21, 2012.) This key information comes from the Mayans, and so it has to be absolutely correct. What? You are questioning it? Are you crazy? The Mayans knew. How?! Don’t you know? Those guys were the original programmers of this world matrix, and they planned an auto-shutdown of the Universe program on the date in question.
We are really running short of time here, so let me skip ahead and talk about more important things.

You see, I’ve been frantically searching for any information on a Noah’s Ark-alike that leaves from my city. So far, I’ve found out nothing. I think people don’t want to share this information on the Internet, because only two humans from every city are allowed to board the ark. Sources who’ve requested anonymity say that only politicians will be allowed to board the ark, and that some seats in the hull are going for Millions of Dollars. I also hear that Paris Hilton, Lady Gaga, and Justin Bieber have already secured their passage into the new world by parting with almost all their riches.

So why isn’t the media reporting this corruption around the Ark-deal? Oh well! Those media guys are going to be stowaways. It’s rumored that these arks were built with secret compartments to ensure that the best of the best (read: the politicians, the paparazzi, and the stinking rich) will be able to escape the inevitable, either directly or indirectly.

If you have any information on this matter, please leave it here in a comment. I have a feeling that if you had such information, you must’ve already been brain-washed into believing that you’d have a seat on the ark, if you just remained silent; but my friend, they are playing with you. Mark my words, if the world ends tomorrow…billions of us would be standing together bidding farewell to our politicians and others of their kind.

Now, the second important question…

What’s the exact time at which the world is expected to end? Any information will be deeply appreciated and widely distributed.

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Cartoon/caricature Sculpture in Polymer Clay– The Devil – Satire/Story – The Devil Wants Out!

Well…here’s my Clay Caricature Number 3 – The Devil (or the Devil’s son – if you go by the story that follows the picture.) You are welcome to view my previous sculpting efforts the Harlot here and the Bald Man here.

Caricature/Cartoon in Polymer Clay. Title: "The Horned Devil" Size: 2.25" tall x 1.5" wide x 1.5" deep.

The Devil Wants Out!

(A Tiny Story/Satire – by The Caricaturist)

He sat in his room watching Bedazzled – a Devil Movie from his Hollywood collection. His father, the Devil, disapproved of all but the Devil movies – so though he disliked them he didn’t have a lot of other options. Thankfully, he rather liked this particular movie – Watching Liz Hurley play the Devil was like seeing his dad in a gown…and he found it hilarious – the buttered Popcorn, the sexy Devil and the star-struck Fraser – all made his life seem a little worthwhile, but he knew that this feeling of wholesomeness would disappear the moment the movie ended – the movie just helped him escape his reality.

His reality was Hell. He was expected to take over as the CEO of Hell when his dad retired at the end of the century – and he really didn’t want to. He didn’t like his Job Description at all. Collecting souls, sorting them, meting out the right punishment in the right measure – all this was just one part of it… the glamorous part! The other part was recruiting help, managing them, overseeing them, auditing the processes…why, just the other day he had caught a minion accepting bribe for moving a promiscuous lawyer’s spiky bed near a harlot’s fire!

He’d swap his life with anyone’s… Liz Hurley’s, Brendan Fraser’s, even Jim Carrey’s – of course he’d love to be Paris Hilton and send her here in his place, but his puritan dad would kill him if it was discovered that he traded places with a woman – and then there was the obvious bottleneck – what did Paris know of sins, and sinners, and hell? Lady Gaga was another interesting possibility what with her meat dress and her devilish attitude – but then despite the controversy there was a good chance that she too was a woman – and he didn’t want to risk making his father go berserk.

Two years ago, he would’ve happily swapped with Barack Obama, but then being a brand new politician he was a novice in the matters of hell…and today, Obama were probably stuck worse than him! That won’t work. He wanted to swap with someone who had inherited a lot of wealth because inherited wealth would help him sin and sinning would make sure that he returned to hell instead of going to heaven, which of course was out of question! He was also open to reviewing potential swaps with people in power because power too made people sin.

So he thought and he thought,  until the movie ended – but he reached no conclusion. He wanted to do something else…he didn’t want to do what the eldest son always did – run Hell efficiently…

There had to be a way out – somewhere, if not in the present, in the past – there would be someone who had it in him – who he could swap places with! As he browsed through the recorded programs on the History Channel, he found his answer.

 

He was going to swap with Adolf Hitler!

 

 

——–(ooo)——–

How to Draw the Caricature of Lady Gaga & The Story of Bad Romance!

Lady Gaga (yes the very same lady who’s entangled in a Bad Romance) is an extremely interesting and an unbelievably creative person.

She is a magician, a dress designer, a hairdresser, a lyricist…and of course, she is a woman trying hard to prove that she’s indeed one. If you ask me, she is one of those amazingly talented control-freaks who don’t even want to leave their caricatures to chance – they want to do them themselves! (Remember Ozzy Osbourne?)

Anyone who’s ever looked at Lady Gaga would know that there’s no caricaturist in the world who could do a better job of caricaturing her, than the lady herself. However, I made the attempt, and now I am here to discuss how you too can draw Lady Gaga’s caricature. (And no – you don’t stop at making her portrait!)

Here’s the caricature under discussion.

Lady Gaga and the Spider Colony!

Caricaturing the Eyes of Lady Gaga:

Lady Gaga’s eyes are characterized by the kohl she puts around them! You’ve got to load her eyelids and eyelashes with black paint to get the look right. Also stretch those eyelashes to exaggerate them. Don’t change the basic almond shape of her eyes.

Read about “Caricaturing the Eyes” here.

Caricaturing the Lips of Lady Gaga:

Lady Gaga has thicker than usual lips (which go well with her slightly heavy yet chubby face.) Note that I’ve drawn her with an open mouth, which helps you see her teeth. Her teeth are slightly crooked and I’ve maintained that lack of symmetry in the drawing.

Read about “Caricaturing the Lips and the Mouth” here.

(If I were drawing the caricature of a man, I’d treat the teeth differently (they’d be exaggerated to add more humor to the treatment.) However, while drawing the caricatures of women – ensure that their caricatures continue to look pretty:-))

Caricaturing the Hair of Lady Gaga:

Ah! This is where I had to compete with Ms. Gaga herself. I selected what I call her “Candy Floss with Noodles” hairstyle. The size of her coiffure was big enough but I did exaggerate it a bit. The cobwebs were added for the storyline.

(Read about “Caricaturing the Forehead, the Hairline, and the Hair” here.)
Storyline?
Well. Since Ms. Gaga had done a great job of caricaturing herself, I had to go do something extra to exaggerate her hairstyle, and so I thought of the spiders and the cobwebs. Whenever Lady Gaga discards a wig, the space on the wig is auctioned away to the spiders that want to move in to this “premium” location!

Well…
So in came the spiders and their webs, and of course the decorations added by the property dealers along with the prize car!

And Ms. Gaga was decked up and ready to give the other singers a run for their money!

And yes, if you want to learn how to draw caricatures, you should check out “How to Draw Caricatures – And Evolution of a Caricaturist.”

Before I wave goodbye, here’s an interesting bit about her current hit “Bad Romance”.

The Theme of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga – A Verbal Caricature:

Bad Romance is a bad-bad song that begins with the abduction of Lady Gaga by some super-models. These super-models, who probably are about to slide into middle age and hence into oblivion, dream up a new way to make money. They kidnap Lady Gaga, bathe her in a white bathtub, and then in her inebriated condition attempt to auction her off to the Russian Mafia. (Note the Russian connection in all such deals, and also note the marked absence of the Italian Mafia from this whole show.)

While the Russian men sit around with their electronic bidding machines, Lady Gaga seductively walks towards them and then selects the one with a golden chin guard (guess he wore it because he expected Lady Gaga to slap him) to do a provocative lap-dance for him. Now this all is hogwash, because after he becomes the highest bidder, she roasts him alive by activating her pyrotechnic bra. The point to be noted here is the Lady Gaga remains unscathed…and probably vanishes with the auction money, and shares the booty with the models who had kidnapped her…because it was all staged!

But that part wasn’t there in the video that I watched, and so I believe that the video was edited!  If anyone has access to the unedited video of the song Bad Romance , please let me know, because I am dying to hear the end of the story.

BTW, I wonder if the Russian Men would have bid at all if she had worn her meat dress to the auction?
(Lady Gaga’s Meat Dress.)

Cartoon/Caricature Gallery Updated with New Caricatures!

Hello Readers,
I’ve just updated the Caricature Gallery with the new caricatures that I had added to this blog in the past three months. You can view it at: https://shafali.wordpress.com/gallery/

I hope you’ll enjoy the new additions (including Lady Gaga, Russell Crowe, Oracle Octopus Paul, Einstein, among many others!)

And yes,
I’ll be posting the caricature of Kareena Kapoor, the darling of Bollywood, who is affectionately known as Bebo, very soon – and then you can tell me if she’d not look like Paris Hilton,  if she bleached her hair. They are sisters – I don’t know how – but they are! Ever hear of Atavism? I think that’s what’s at work here!

That’s all:)

Caricature/Cartoon – Lady Gaga’s Weird Hermaphrodite-ish Outfits & The Spider Colony!

(If you are interested in  “How to Draw Lady Gaga’s Caricature” and reading a verbal caricature on her “Bad Romance”, click here. – Updated: September 15, 2010)

I wouldn’t have caricatured Lady Gaga. Being tone-deaf, I can’t claim to know much about music or music makers. They seem magical to me. They make some sort of sounds, using their voice-boxes and other musical instruments, that people like to listen to. I can’t understand it at all, and so I steer clear of music-makers and music. At best music doesn’t make sense to me, at worst, it gives me a headache! But once in a while, someone like Lady Gaga makes music and then makes news, and then the caricaturist in me wakes up and wonders, “Who was the caricaturist who created her?”

Hermaphrodite or Robotaphrohermit?!

So, this was my take on Ms. Gaga. I didn’t have to do much, as you can see. However, I had to study a lot. I had to know the Lady behind the Gaga. So I went cyber-digging and what I found made me respect this little bundle of sound waves. She’s just 24…and she’s already made enough waves of all kinds!

Lady Gaga – Her Biography

Lady Gaga was born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta on March 28, 1986. Her first album was released in 2008, when she was 22…and so her rise to fame can be considered no less than meteoric! In this album (called “The Fame”) were two songs “Just Dance” and “Poker Face,” which made people lose their heads. This album got six Grammy Award Nominations and won two of them. According to what I read in Wikipedia,

“In May 2010, Time magazine included Gaga in its annual Time 100 list of the most influential people in the world.”

In 2009, she released her second album called “The Fame Monster.” In 2009 she also did two tours “The Fame Ball Tour” and the “Monster Ball Tour”.

Lady Gaga – Her Name

Her name was given to her by a word processing software (MS Word?). Radio Ga Ga a song by Queen was auto-corrected to Lady Gaga. Now that’s interesting. She’s a true techno-kid…all chipped-up and plugged-in!

Lady Gaga – A Hermaphrodite?

Is Lady Gaga a hermaphrodite?
To understand this question, you first need to know what the term Hermaphrodite means.

Here’s a definition:

“A person born with diminished sexual organs of both sexes as a result of a genetic anomaly, and therefore has physical sexual traits and characteristics in between that of a man or a woman. The hermaphroditic individual is usually incapable of reproduction.”

(Source: www.ifsha.org/glossary.htm)
So is she…a Herm…whatever, I mean!

• Lady Gaga looks like a woman – I think.
• Lady Gaga kisses Madonna like a man – I think.
• Lady Gaga dresses like a robot – I think.

Thus,
I think she isn’t a hermaphrodite, but a robotaphrohermit! Now, what does that mean? Go Figure!
(But please note that Ms. Gaga has confirmed that she is a woman!)

In fact, when she was compared to Christina Aguilera, Christina Aguilera raised similar doubts about Lady Gaga’s true gender. It’s quite possible that the whole gender thing was started by Christina and it was driven by professional envy!

Lady Gaga – Her weird outfits

The Lady’s crazy outfits made her think that she suffered from a rare disease called Lupus – or so they say.
See her pictures here.
She almost fainted in one of her shows and this led to speculations about her having Lupus but it’s also speculated that her outfit might’ve been responsible for it.

Lady Gaga – Tattoos

She’s tattooed all-over. If you want to check out her tattoos, you must visit this link here.

Do you think she competes with our Tattooed and the Pierced one?

Other things:

• She’s left-handed.
• She’s a Gay Icon.
• She used to be on drugs and she’s confessed.

“Gaga confessed to the Times that she recently suffered from heart palpitations and was forced to call emergency services in Tokyo as she was having trouble breathing.”

(Source)

PS:
According to the Spider News channel, before every performance done by Lady Gaga, the plots in the upcoming head-dress are auctioned away!

(If you are interested in  “How to Draw Lady Gaga’s Caricature” and reading a verbal caricature on her “Bad Romance”, click here. – Updated: September 15, 2010)

Updated February 16, 2011: Lady Gaga hatches from an egg, at the 2011 Grammys!

The Caricaturist’s Favorites and the Blame Game!

Ah! I now have enough caricatures on this blog to list my favorites. I know I know…Lady Gaga hasn’t yet made an appearance here, nor has the much awaited Shakespeare, but then, if you don’t leave me a clue to your favorites, how do you expect me to sketch their caricatures and cartoons? I am not the one to be blamed for the absence of your favorites – YOU ARE!

Okay – now I am done with venting my feelings of the angry kind. Hmm…I am feeling better already.

So among the caricatures that I’ve posted so far, here are my top five favorites.

• Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow (My first…caricature, of course),
• Michelle Obama the First Lady of the US with her heart-winning smile,
• Morgan Freeman as Detective Alex Cross,
• Brad Pitt as Achilles on the lookout for heel-guards, andddd……..
• Abraham Lincoln the sixteen President of the United States – the free-est country in the world!

So, let us come back to the blame game. The data tells me that you were here – but then, you leave no sign for me to interpret, no clue to your favorite celebs/personalities, not even a short motivational message – My dear visitor – speak up:)

I stop here as gastronomical issues are becoming more important with each passing minute. But hear up, visitor o’mine…my sketch pen and paper need to hear from you!