My forgotten Facebook page gets a face.

I’ve had a Facebook page for many months now. It had been languishing in want of attention, until now, when I suddenly remembered its existence.

I really don’t know why I had created it in the first place. It had the my name on it (and I guess your pages can be named differently,) and it looked really drab. So I decided to rename it as Shafali’s Caricatures (what else?) and I added a cover picture with some of my caricatures to its timeline.

So that I am no longer mistaken for some high-flying executive (there’s another Shafali Anand in the cybersphere and she’s some journo or writer,) I must make it clear that while I am a joker of sorts and I can fit into many roles, I am definitely not an intellectual – so please don’t mistake me for one. However, whoever you may come looking for, if you want to press the Like button on my page, I won’t deter you from it.

But if you really like my caricatures and cartoons, and you really want to like my page on Facebook do click here.

I would like to excuse myself now as I  am very tired and the lines on the monitor are beginning to appear blurrrred…….

byeeee thennn.

S

What Happened to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Panties?

This post doesn’t fit this blog, yet when it comes to things that don’t fit, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties win the show.

Before we discuss Rosie Huntington-Whitley‘s panties, we should first identify the lady in question. Rosie HW is the replacement of Megan Fox in the newest Transformers flick called Dark of the Moon. She’s 5 feet 9 inches tall and with her vital stats at 34-25-35 and her weight at 54 kgs, she’s the thinnest thing that you can witness in heels. In the Dark of the Moon she towers over Shia Labeouf who though equally tall looks like a dwarf beside her, primarily because the poor guy isn’t allowed those fancy six-inch needle-point heels that grace the spindly legs of this particular Victoria’s Secret model.

Those of you who’ve seen Dark of the Moon would vouch that one of the most interesting scenes in the movie was the first scene, in which the camera focuses on a thin-but-firm panty-clad butt undulating on the screen as the owner of the butt sashays up the staircase. The staircase has a lot many steps, and if I recall correctly, at least two turns. All this time the camera faithfully follows the butt and those tiny pair of  panties that work really hard to cover it. At the end of her apparently endless ascent the lady descends upon the sleeping form of our hero, and it’s then that we see the face of the lady and wonder – what the heck? But then a cute butt doesn’t always equal a cute face (and vice-versa) so we let it go, and try to concentrate on the movie.

But then Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties return to challenge my reason. They make me wonder.

What happened to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties, after the scene was shot?

I am really, truly, even pathologically serious about finding an answer to this question, as the curiosity is killing me. And…before you ask…NO. I don’t want to buy them. Actually, you couldn’t even pay me to take them. This discussion is merely conceptual and is driven by the insatiable curiosity of an insane caricaturist.

Here are a few possibilities that come to my mind.

  1. The panties were given to Rosie Huntington-Whitely as a perk for running about on those wicked (ouch) heels.
  2. The panties were given as the weekly wages to an extra who worked in the movie.
  3. The panties were used to wipe the grease off  Bumblebee‘s engine.
  4. They were incinerated after the scene was shot.
  5. The panties were auctioned off to the male actors/employees and the identity of the buyer was kept a secret, because he had a jealous wife.
  6. The panties became a property of the director/producer.
  7. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley got them framed and gifted them to Shia Labeouf as a parting gift.
  8. They were rented for that particular scene, and were returned to the costume company after the scene was shot.
  9. The panties indeed belonged to Rosie Huntington-Whitley and she wore the same panties home after the shot.
  10. The panties were used to clean the camera lens for the next shot.
  11. When Rosie Huntington-Whitley jumped upon the sleeping Shia, they split and had to be thrown away, later to be salvaged by the janitor, who auctioned them off on eBay.
  12. The panties were returned to Victoria’s Secret and they secretly sold them off to an Indian celebrity who didn’t receive them in time and had to…well, go panty-less to a charity event!
  13. The panties were stolen by the mice-family and they made them into a mattress for the baby mice.
  14. The rumor-mill is also abuzz with the rumor that the panties were painted upon Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s marble butt, and they got washed away when someone spilled their glass of wine on them.
  15. Put up for sale in a Japanese panties vending machine? (Suggested by Nirnif.)

I know that I haven’t been able to cover every possibility, so I welcome your creative thoughts, and

I ask you, my valued reader…
What happened to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s panties, after the scene was shot?

Caricature/Cartoon Napoleon Bonaparte – The Genius French Emperor who fired his Fashion Designer!

Napoleon Bonaparte could’ve changed the destiny of India had he seized Egypt. Indians could be speaking French instead of English, and Delhi would’ve been a replica of Paris! Doesn’t sound all that bad to the Caricaturist. What difference would it have made – our ancestors would’ve died fighting for freedom anyways – my Grandmother would’ve gone to jail during the freedom struggle, anyways… but we’d be a more artistic lot.

But let me not get started on the Indian Freedom Struggle and show you this caricature of the Great Napoleon Bonaparte.

The Caricature, Cartoon, Portrait of the French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, looking unhappy in his bicorne hat and his tights.

Where’s that idiot who designed this uniform? The hat keeps falling over my eyes, the jacket is too stiff, and the trousers appear to be made of plastic! But hold on…plastic hasn’t been invented yet – right?

Napoleon’s Napoleonic Biography

Napoleon was born on 15 August 1769 (Note the connection with India’s Independence Day.) and he died on 5 May 1821, when he was barely 53! He spent his short life fighting battles that impoverished France and killed about 3 million people in Europe. Despite this (or because of this) he is considered the greatest military leader ever.

From 1799 to 1812, almost all of Napoleon’s military quests ended in victory and they helped him establish France as a military power to reckon with; but his good fortune ended in 1812, when he invaded Russia. He hadn’t expected the climate to be so unbelievably hostile and that was his undoing. Next he was defeated by the Sixth Coalition and was kept in exile from which he escaped and resumed power. Unfortunately his army was defeated in the Battle of Waterloo, he was captured by the British and he died in captivity – either of arsenic poisoning or of cancer.

But Napoleon isn’t known only for his battles. He’s known for more.

Napoleon’s Intellectual Legacy

Napoleon was responsible for a lot of other reforms in France. Here are a few of them.

The Napoleon Complex

They (the psychologists, who else) say that Napoleon was power-hungry because he wanted to compensate for lack of height. This assumption led them to coin the term “Napoleon Complex” They (the historians of course) incorrectly assumed that this historical giant was five feet two inches in height, while he actually was five feet seven inches – quite tall for his period! The confusion, they say (the mathematicians, who else) happened because Napoleon has instituted a different unit system in France!

Napoleon’s Love Life

What’s life without a little love?
It is said that Napoleon found his love in Josephine who was a widow and also a mistress of one of his associates. Napoleon married Josephine but as he was hardly ever around, Josephine found a lover. This obviously didn’t go down well with Napoleon, who decided that two could play at the game of infidelity. So it all went on and on, until Napoleon divorced Josephine citing the medieval reason – he needed a successor. He then married Marie Louise who gave him a son, who later ruled as Napoleon II for a couple of weeks and then succumbed to TB.

Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes

  • A leader is a dealer in hope…(only.)
  • A picture is worth a thousand words.(Not on the Internet!)
  • A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon…(a fact gladly exploited by the politicians.)
  • All religions have been made by men. (I am glad that there’s been one other person who realized this.)
  • An army marches on its stomach. (Of course…everyone else too.)

Takashi Murakami Twisted me out of Shape.

I am not keen on abstract art that doesn’t explain itself. Art, as I once said, should result in multiple interpretations. Everyone who looks at an artistic creation should take away with him or her, something personal – sometimes, this takeaway isn’t all that personal and unique (take the example of caricature art, the kind I do,) at other times, it’s so unique that everyone has a different takeaway – even among such art, is the art that cannot be duplicated and that demonstrates unsurpassed skill. Takashi Murakami’s art is of the latter kind.

I being the unaware, uncaring, artistically-un-inclined, forever cynical artist, don’t go out looking for art that I like, but once in a while fate throws it into my face, making me feel ashamed of my cynicism. This is exactly what happened about a half hour ago, when I switched on my computer and opened my browser, which defaults to Google.

Google Doodle by Takashi Murakami.

Google Doodle by Takashi Murakami.

(Note: I’ve added a low-resolution screenshot here, because I know that this image will be gone by tomorrow.)

I looked at the First Day of the Summer “doodle” by Takashi Murakami and became curious. Then I did the next obvious thing…I did a search on him – and then I was hooked.

Even if you disregard the semen and the milk, you still are left wondering how he visualized his creations, and then when the shock of his idea wears off, he mesmerizes you with his skill. You’ve got to see this strange combination of colors, geometries, figures, ideas, and presentation methods.

I leave you with the following three links:

A Personal Post – You’ll know if it is for you :)

Important Note:

This is your Opportunity to Bail Out!

This is a personal post meant for the regular readers of my blog. If you are here the first time, you’d be more interested in exploring the following links.

So…if you aren’t really interested in the monologue of this crazy caricaturist, use any of the above links to bail out. The decision is yours.

What?

You want to read on? So…go ahead, who is stopping you?!

Let us begin by answering the micro-dollar question.

Why the heck don’t I keep my Personal Posts Private?

The bloggers among you might wonder why I need to make an open-for-all personal post. Why don’t I mark my post private (I’ve never done it – so I don’t know how it’s done), and send passwords to everyone who I’d like to invite over to read it? An excellent question that evokes a mundane answer from this jaded caricaturist. I don’t do it because I really don’t know who among you feel close to me. I don’t actively attempt to draw commentators to my blog by commenting on other blogs (I hear that some use commenting as I scratch your whatever and you scratch mine!) When I leave a comment on another blog, it’s usually on an impulse – it’s because you post really touched my heart. (Now you know.)

I don’t believe in measuring cognitive relationships in microns, and so there are those blogs that I visit quite often but don’t leave a comment (bad manners, I know) and I know that there are people who visit my blog regularly but don’t leave a comment. It’s fair…and it’s fun. A relationship (even a dotted line relationship, such as the one that a blogger shares with the visitors) is a happy one only as long as it doesn’t develop expectations and generate a high-pressure situation for the any or both the parties.

Reverting to the original point of this post. I don’t mark any of my posts private, because I really don’t want to exclude anyone who has a relationship with this blog, and who for his or her own reasons, doesn’t want to make that relationship public by commenting/writing to me.

Momentous Changes in the Caricaturist’s Life:

With that little kink worked out, here’s what I wanted to tell you:

I am right in the middle of a sweeping change in my life. If you’ve known artists, you’d know that their sweeping changes seldom have anything to do with kids, sweethearts/spouses, even their stupid day jobs – so you can rule all that out. This change is more about the way I want to live – and in all honesty…I don’t want to live with senseless clutter. I qualify the clutter that I want to get rid of because I want to replace the senseless clutter with sensible clutter.

What Goes Out – The Senseless Clutter!

Here’s Senseless Clutter:

  • Fears that stop me from doing harmless stuff that can actually help me. (Note that I DON’T include “learning to drive” in my list of “harmless stuff that can be helpful” – for a disaster magnet like me, that stuff could be pretty harmful!)
  • emails that offer me work for peanuts – telling me that other Indians are working for peanuts so why can’t I (Quality of work notwithstanding.)
  • Movies that are a drain on my time and money (I am definitely not talking about the newest release in the X-Men series – X Men First Class, which I intend to watch this week.)
  • People who make me miserable instead of making me happy.
  • My blog needs to go through a transformational process too – especially if it is to reflect the changes that I wish to bring in my life.

What Stays Back and Comes In – The Sensible Clutter!

And Here’s the Sensible Clutter that I am keen on adding around me (Note that the right-brained thrive on clutter.)

  • A new set of pencils.
  • A few sketchbooks for rough work.
  • A few new fictional characters to share my mental space with.
  • Some books about places that I haven’t visited and I never will.
  • A degree in art (oh well, I can dream…can’t I?)
  • A new income-generating mechanism (I need to do something to keep my body and soul together – and that, dear readers, cannot be art – because whatever else, I am not prepared to sleep on the pavement. At least not yet.)

These changes will obviously reflect upon the nature and the content of this blog. You must’ve already noticed a few changes. For instance:

  • A new section called the Time-Machine has been added. This section would contain the summary of whatever I learn about the popular comic strips, when I research them for my learning.
  • Another new section called the Interactive Art Tutorials has been added. This section would include tutorials on cartooning. Don’t worry. This still remains primarily a caricature blog, but we’d see more cartoons here, as I suddenly have this wild urge to simplify my lines and create some cartoons.

While we are talking about the Interactive Art Tutorials, I would like to clarify that these tutorials are in Flash, they are interactive, can be downloaded to your computer, and they won’t put you to sleep. I’ve started by presenting two simple Owl-Drawing tutorials but you can expect a lot of other interesting stuff to appear in that section. If you’d want me to create a tutorial on something specific in cartooning, leave a comment here.

Be Warned. More new stuff is expected in the days to come. So if you stay away you miss out on the fun!

See you soon with a crisp commentary on the Comic Strip that once gave jitters to the US Army.  Which Comic Strip am I talking about? Any guesses?

Rock and Roll on Stranger Tides with Captain Jack Sparrow!

Quoting self:

People who use prescription glasses shouldn’t watch movies in 3D.

I watched the fourth movie in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, “On Stranger Tides”…and I watched it in 2D!

But wait. Who’s watching ME? Is he the imposter or is he Captain Jack Sparrow? Must be Johnny Depp, the guy who has been impersonating Captain Sparrow – right? Anyway, here are the eyes of this entity.

A Pen and Ink Drawing of Johnny Depp's (Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean) Eyes.

I'm watching you.

If you think that I have lost my head completely, you haven’t watched the movie. Right at the beginning of the movie, our dear dirtily dandy Captain Jack Sparrow arrives in London. Why? Well, it’s because he’s looking for someone who’s been going around telling everyone that “he” is Captain Sparrow. A sparrow she is, as we later discover, and she’s known in Hollywood as Penelope Cruz.

Do I see you with your mouth so wide open that your jaw is about to come unhinged? Didn’t you know  – PoC-4 doesn’t star Keira Knightly the thin but ethereal beauty. Instead the bulb-nosed, long-faced, funny-accented Penelope Cruz has taken her place (thankfully they called her Angelica and not Elizabeth.) She fits into the movie almost as well as Keira would fit into an XXXL gown. She looks horribly, horribly, and horribly out of place. But never mind her – you could close your eyes whenever she gave that funny smile of hers and not miss a thing!

Anyway, here’s the story.

************Spoiler’s Warning Begins**************

Don’t worry, you’ll not know a thing if you read on…so read on!

************Spoiler’s Warning Ends**************

Well, as I said earlier Captain Sparrow finds that the funny woman, who we just described, was impersonating him. This obviously infuriates him, and he plans his revenge, which would include spiriting the funny woman across stranger tides to a deserted island and leave her there, after (note…AFTER) he told her that he loved her. (What other kind of revenge would you design if you looked and moved like Captain Jack Sparrow?)

So, there wasn’t the Flying Dutchman, the Black Pearl, or even Elizabeth. But yes, there were the mermaids, the Spanish, the black magic wielding Blackbeard, and King George II.

PS: There indeed was some black magic going on in the movie. When I left the hall, two eyes followed me out.
PS2: I’ve got to stop. The eyes are watching my every move!

PS3: Though it seems impossible, yet if you haven’t seen this caricature of Johnny Depp, you should click the following image 🙂

Caricature of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow.

Where is the cheese...Captain Sparrow?

Caricature of Matt Mullenweg – The Founding Developer of WordPress – The Caricaturist Strikes Again!

Of course, you know Matt Mullenweg.

He is the founding developer of WordPress, the blog service without which I wouldn’t be blogging. He is 27, unlucky in cards (wonder if it matters to him?), loves to play music, and he has made it to the Caricaturist’s hit list!

Yesterday I received this email from Jane Wells, which said that I should try out the new improved WordPress dashboard, and make a post…and well…that there might be a teeny-weeny chance of my blog appearing you know where.

The problem however was, the contest (if I may call it that) is for the writers. So I, the humble caricaturist had to think logically. If you’ve known Van Gogh and Modigliani, you must know that an artist never counts logic among his strong points.

After a lot of deliberation, I finally concluded that I should draw Matt Mullenweg’s caricature. Before you read the rest of this post, here it is.

Caricature Cartoon of Matt Mullenweg pulling out WordPress from his Cowboy hat

...anddd....here's WordPress!

Why did I draw Matt Mullenweg?

Well. Here are some of my reasons.

  • He looks rather cute in his cowboy attire – not at all like a future programmer!
  • He is the reason I am blogging and dreaming about getting Freshly Pressed (though the dream faces the risk of going stale soon.)
  • He has recently received another one of those zillion awards that he really doesn’t know what to do with.
  • He has a blog (powered by…WordPress. What were you thinking?) And so who knows he might be busy writing a post using the new avatar of WordPress’s text editor, hoping that his blog might feature on Freshly Pressed!
  • Who knows…Matt might be passing by Jane’s desk (do they live and work in the same city?) and he might see her reviewing my blog-post, and he just might think that it’s a good idea to get a printout for his grass-board!

I could go on and on with the reasons, but they won’t help, because Jane Wells will fall asleep half-way through my rant, and I’ll lose my golden opportunity.

So…Adios!
See you later…in the Nineteenth Century Transylvania!

Leaving to Attend the Royal Wedding – Just Received my Invitation!

Folks, I am sorry but I have to leave. I know that it’s on a very short notice, but when the Queen invites you to her dear grandson William’s wedding with Kate Middleton, you have to oblige (oops, the wrong choice of words…but I hope the Queen would understand that a delayed invitation could lead to such errors.)

Let me recount the events, which led me to make this post.

It was 5:00 AM and I was about to post the boy wizard’s caricature when I heard this knock on my door. At such an early hour, you don’t expect me to be dressed for the day, so obviously I was in my pajamas when I opened the door to a man who introduced himself as one of the Queen’s Royal Guards. He handed me the gilded wedding invitation, and apologized for the delay. According to him, first he was held up by the Taliban in the AfPak region, who mistook him for a possible Jackpot (read: an American Journalist). They released him last week, after realizing that he was just an innocent messenger.  He could have reached me the day before yesterday, but then he couldn’t get the card across the Indian custom officials – who were mesmerized by the “glitter of gold.”

I am making this post from the special jet that the Queen chartered for me. I am highly indebted to the Queen for naming this jet, “The Caricaturist One” in my honor. I extend an open invitation to the entire royal family to stay in my humble abode whenever they visit Delhi.

Here’s a scan of the invitation card (I couldn’t resist sharing it.)

Image, photograph of the golden royal wedding invitation card for Prince William's wedding with Kate Middleton.

Invitation for the Royal Wedding - 2011

Now I need to check with the guard whether it’s okay to attend the wedding in my pajamas. With such a short notice, I didn’t have time to shop for a formal gown. If I don’t get time to shop in London, and if pajamas are off the dress-code list then I hope one of the royal ladies will condescend to share her wardrobe with me – just for the occasion.

Sorry folks. Have to stop now. Just now the pilot has asked me to fasten my seat belt as we’ve entered England and would be landing soon:)

Caricature/Cartoon – Prince William and Kate Middleton – A Wedding Present to the Royal Couple!

WISHING THE ROYAL COUPLE A LONG & HAPPY MARRIED LIFE!

(Check out what the Royal Wedding Invitation Card looks like ;-))

Caricature, Cartoon, Drawing of Prince of Wales, William, and Kate Middleton - Before the British Royal Wedding.

The Royal Bond of Love - Kate Middleton and Prince William.

You are welcome to use this caricature on your blog/non-commercial website.

Prince William – A Dash of his Biography

Prince William was born on June 21, 1982. With Prince Charles as his dad and Princess Diana as his mom, Prince William possibly became famous before he was born. He could be the King of 16 states of the Commonwealth Realm, including the United Kingdom but excluding India – thanks to the Indian Freedom Struggle🙂

As it must be with those of royal lineage, the Prince stays busy with humanitarian causes (AIDS, Poverty in Africa), and sports (for charity). Read all about him at his Wikipedia page.

What interests me most about Prince Williams is the fact that he one among the 10% lefties in the world. I guess in all other things, he is one in a zillion. How many people are born princes or princesses – even if you include the worlds at the outer-realms of the universe?

Everything that you ever wanted to know about Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton was born on January 9, 1982 (older than the Prince – is she?) She’s known for winning the Jackpot (read: Prince William’s Heart.) She was William’s flatmate at the University, and they’d been dating ever since.

Her parents earlier worked with British Airways in Jordan, but later relocated to Britain. Nevertheless, the interesting bit is that her maternal ancestors were workers and miners (Please read Ken Follett’s “Fall of the Giants” for a detailed account of their lives) and in those days, a girl born in a miner’s family would probably never become the Queen! But thankfully, the times have changed, and Cinderella stories happen outside the fairy tales too.

As it happens, the moment you are slated to become a princess – you turn the best-dressed/most glamorous/most beautiful – so it happened with Kate too. She’s been topping the best-dressed celeb charts in the recent past. 

Here are some childhood pictures of Kate Middleton.  (She looks pretty in these pictures, doesn’t she?)

The William-Kate Marriage or the Royal Wedding 2011!

Let us now return to the topic of this post – William’s marriage with Kate. It’s going to happen on April 29, 2011 – and for some strange reason, everyone (including your caricaturist) is interested in following it. It’s always nice to see a normal person become a princess. And now that the Queen has become used to accepting “common” people like you and me in their family – life should be substantially easier for Kate than it was for Diana.

But I wonder…

  • Isn’t the British royalty a tad sexist? Believe it or not, Kate Middleton might be called “Her Royal Highness Princess William of Wales” especially if Prince William decides not to become a Duke, and Kate doesn’t get the title of Duchess. Now, where did “Kate Middleton” go? Do you see her in her new title? I don’t.
  • Is Kate truly happy? She might be head-over-heels in love with William, but does she have to really give up her freedom for love?
  • If a whole story begins with weight-loss programs (these days, Kate Middleton’s looking thinner than a stick,) I really don’t care to read it through. (Check this out.)

The Royal Wedding Data Sheet

Other than the fact that neither the Obamas nor I am invited to the wedding (and yet, the magnanimous caricaturist draws a wedding gift for the couple,) you may find the following bits interesting.

  1. The guests are requested (oops! “required”) to reach Westminster Abbey at 11 a.m. on April 29.
  2. They are required to wear  military uniform, tailcoat, or business suit (Can I assume that only men are invited – or that women can attend wearing bikinis?)
  3. Total Invitations: 1900 for the wedding; of the 1900, 600 for the reception; of the 600, 300 for the dinner! So, you know how “Select” you are, by assessing the extent of your invitation.
  4. The dress that Kate wears for her wedding is going to be important. You can see what the designers did to poor Diana (her Mother-in-Law,) here. Imagine a dress that would generate employment for four people for four hours – It reminds me of Chief Vitalstatistix’s shield carriers. You can just hope that Kate remembers to go to the loo before she gets into a dress like that – right? By the way, you can’t hope to influence the dress-designer into designing something more practical and comfortable for Kate, because the designer’s identity is being kept a secret.

Kate and William Wedding – Humor

But what’s this?

A Video of their marriage? (Gasp! Are they already married? Double Gasp!) But seriously, you need to look at that video – it’s hilarious!

NEWEST NEWS! – Fresh from the Royal Oven (Added: April 28, 2011)

Kate Middleton has been having nightmares in which she sees herself exchanging vows with Prince William au-naturel, naked, in the buff! In her dream she gets stern looks from the queen (naturally) and she finds herself prioritizing which part of hers she should cover first. I wonder if she got state-approval on her comment before she made it to the media, because it does conjure a colorful image of the wedding – doesn’t it?

A Blog Carnival for Bloggers – Tell the Story-in-the-Caricature – April 2011 – Edition 8!

Header for Story in the Caricature Blog Carnival Contest for fiction writers

Dear Bloggers,

Welcome to the new edition of the Story-in-the-Caricature blog carnival. Call it a storytelling festival or a spark of inspiration for the writer within you – but write a story that wows your readers!

Here’s the caricature to inspire you 🙂

Cartoon caricature of three people in discussion for the story in the caricature blog carnival for fiction or story writers

The rules haven’t changed – but I should repeat them for the new storytellers.

Here are the Rules for the Participating in the Storytelling Carnival

1. Write a story, small or big, about this caricature.

2. Publish the story on your blog, along with this caricature.

3. Leave the link to your post, as a comment to this post here.

4. The festival ends on April 30, 2011.

The Four Rewards for this Story Carnival

1. All the story links added for stories published along with the above caricature, until the last date, will be published on this blog in May 2011, along with your blog-address, and a link to the About Page of your blog.

2. The blog addresses of the participating bloggers will find way into my “The Storytellers” blog-roll.

3. We will also request all the story-writers to publish the links of other story-writers in a blog-post on their respective blogs. This will help the story writers find more readers – but of course, this would be voluntary.

4. The first blogger to do everything right (publish the story on his/her blog with the caricature, and then leave the link of the story against this post) will get the opportunity to name one international celeb that he or she would like to see caricatured.

Important Note:

Pornographic/Obscene Language won’t work:) so keep it clean.

Happy Writing:) I’ll wait…as I always do:)

A Personal Post – More Caricatures and Some Plans.

Very Important Note!

This post will not interest the occasional visitor who is here looking for “Sachin with Ball(?) like the World Cup“, “Lady Gaga’s implants“, “Oozzie“, “hitler was a paid hollywood actor in real life“, “the divinci guy“, or
mafia cartoon mouse“! If you are looking for something specific, use the search button on the right sidebar, or visit the gallery.

This post will also not interest the visitors, who are here looking for “funny sex caricatures” or who wish to figure out “how to draw a wine glass“. In fact, there’s nothing on this blog that’ll help you with what you need. The closest that I’ve ever got to drawing a funny caricature of the kind you’d like, is Pamela Anderson’s caricature here.

And finally, if you are here looking for “posthumously famous artists“, visit in another three-decades 🙂 By that time I should most definitely be dead and thus, famous!

Now, having put you all on the right track, I return to my post.

The Upcoming Caricatures

The upcoming caricatures are:

The New Caricature Hitlist

I am also in the process of preparing my new hi5 hitlist. All spaces are currently vacant! I am looking for suitable candidates to fill the positions and your recommendations are welcome.

The Story-in-the-Caricature Blog Carnival

I have plans of bringing the Story in the Caricature Blog Carnival back. The caricature for the April Carnival is almost ready – and it will be up soon:)

Another Book?!!

I am thinking of writing another book…a smaller one, perhaps, which addresses the problem areas in drawing portraits, caricatures, and cartoons. If you are an artist – write to me about what you’d see included in it:)
(Read “Evolution of a Caricaturist – A book on How to Draw Caricatures” here.)

Guess that’s all. Soon I shall return with a brand-new caricature!

Caricature/Cartoon – Julius Caesar – The Roman General and Cleopatra’s first Roman Paramour!

Julius Caesar was born on the thirteenth of July, 100 BC – just about 2110 years ago. You know him as the guy from Shakespeare’s drama Julius Caesar, in which he dramatically cries out “et tu Brute!” before he dies; as the Egyptian Queen Cleopatra’s Roman paramour; and as the untiring pursuer of the fearless Gauls in the famous Asterix comics.

Here’s Julius Caesar with his Laurel Wreath and two butterflies auditing the quality of the wreath.

A Cartoon, Caricature, Sketch, Portrait of Julius Caesar, the Roman General who was Cleopatra's lover!

They use only the most tender leaves for making his wreath.

A Short Biography of Julius Caesar

Caesar was born in a noble but poor family. His wasn’t a typical rags-to-riches saga, but he did have a tough life. At 16 he was heading his family, at 17 he became the high priest of Jupiter for which he had to break off his engagement and get married to another girl from a noble family; and then before he turned 21, he was forced to go into hiding because Sulla, the then dictator of Rome was weeding out the potential threats. Caesar’s mom’s family had to pull some strings to get him a pardon – after which Caesar joined the army.Only when Sulla died, Caesar returned to Rome.

Caesar came back poor and had to stay in a lower-class neighborhood (slums?) As he still had to put food on his rickety table, he decided to become a lawyer. One thing led to another (as it always does in stories that become too long to tell,) and in 60 BC he won the election and became a consul (whatever that means – if you know, please feel free to enlighten me.)

Caesar’s Personal Life

Caesar’s first wife Cornelia died in 69 BC. He then married Pompeia. She was suspected of having an affair with a guy who had a really complex name. the chauvinist Caesar didn’t approve of it at all – “Caesar’s wife should be above all suspicion,” he said in Roman – and divorced Pompeia. About 10 years later, he married Calpurnia to further his political career. Eventually, he discovered Cleopatra and he had an extra-marital affair with her.

Julius Caesar and Cleopatra

Cleopatra the ruler of Egypt met Caesar when she was already onto her second husband (who was also her younger brother) Ptolemy 14th!
(Wow! Those guys were super-creative when it came to naming their children…it must have something to do with the royal inbreeding program followed by the Egyptian royalty.)

Nevertheless, she decked herself up in a rug and met Caesar and they went for a long cruise on Nile – a lot of interesting things might’ve happened between them and some say that Cleopatra conceived Caesarion, their son, while they were bobbing up and down on the Nile. Though they say that J and C were crazy about each other, I’d say that Cleo was just trying to get some political mileage out of her relationship with Julius – or why would she land in Mark Antony’s lap the moment Caesar cried “Et tu Brutus”?

If you are completely nuts and you want to read more about JC and Cleo’s mushy love-life, check out the following two links:

  1. http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3329
  2. http://www.suite101.com/content/julius-caesar-and-cleopatra-a224138

Caesar’s Relationship with the Gauls

Caesar’s relationship with the Gauls could be described as troubled at best (source: Asterix Comics:)) He had brought the whole Gaul under his control and converted it into Roman territory, save one tiny little village, where Asterix and Obelix lived. His army was scared of the two Gauls, because they had the magic potion that Druid Getafix used to fix for them (and as a child, Obelix had fallen into a cauldron of the magic potion – I hope that the potion had cooled down when he fell into it.)

Once again, to cut a long story short – you need to pick an Asterix comic to understand it completely…or you might want to get in touch with Albert Uderzo, who in my opinion, is the best comic book illustrator and cartoonist in this world.

Caesar’s Assassination

Caesar’s popularity and his re-election as the dictator of Rome for the third time in succession led to a strong wave of jealousy among the senators. About 40 senators stabbed him to death in the Theater of Pompei. With his death, the Roman Republic died to give way to an empire, with Caesar’s adopted son Octavian becoming the emperor.

I guess this is all that I want to tell you about Caesar…and his butterflies.

Julius Caesar Quotes

There two important quotes that should be mentioned here.

Et tu brute! : This phrase literally means, “You too Brutus!” You should exclaim “Et tu brute” when someone you trust cheats on you. For instance, if your dog bites you. This phrase should never be used when your politicians cheat you, because you’d be a fool to trust your politicians.

Caesar’s wife should be above suspicion: This phrase means, people who are connected to people who have an image to cultivate, should not have ghosts in their cupboards. Example:? (Can you see me scratching my head…I too would need a laurel wreath soon.) Please feel free to add an example to the comments section:)

India Wins the Semi-finals, Sachin Tendulkar declared Man of the Match

BREAKING NEWS!

India won the World cup Semi-finals against Pakistan. Sachin couldn’t make his 100th 100s but he helped the team win 🙂 by contributing 85 runs of 115 balls.

Presenting…

Sachin Tendulkar – The Man of the Match

Cartoon, Caricature, Portrait, Sketch, Drawing of Little Master, Master Blaster, Sachin Tendulkar, World's greatest batsman!

Turned Lucky 4 times!

Waiting for Sachin’s 100th 100, which may yet happen…in the finals…in Mumbai! Good Night:)

Update: Oh…and if India wins the World Cup…You might want to buy anti-glare glasses. You know why? Find the answer here.

Caricature/Cartoon – Charlie Sheen – Winning Ridicule with his Rants!

On September 03 1965, Charlie Sheen was born in New York. He is a well-known TV Actor, who has also acted in many Hollywood Movies including the two “Hot Shots” flicks. I make a specific mention of the Hot Shots Movies because recently he’s been acting quite like Topper, the character he played in these movies – and this is how I chose to draw him in this caricature. As the Rambo-lookalike who could empty ten rounds into his own chest, and still walk away!

A Caricature, Cartoon, Sketch, Portrait of Charlie Sheen as Topper (rambo lookalike) in Hot Shots 2 who rips apart his own reputation with his rants and abuses against the producers of Two and a Half Men.

I am Biwinning. I win here. I win there. … Oops!

If you don’t know what I am talking about, you haven’t been following his rise and fall (and impending rise) in Two and a Half Men, America’s most popular Television serial.

Let me begin by telling you what happened.

Charlie Sheen’s rant on Alex Jones’ program and its Aftershocks!

Simply speaking, success went to Charlie’s head and filled his head up with gallons of hot air. Charlie began to feel the pressure and the heat and the computer of his mind began to throw error-messages (yep! Just the way it happens in Microsoft’s Windows.) All was well, and the people who he insulted didn’t actually mind a lot because Charlie was hot property. Everyone attributed his behavior to his many addictions and their after-effects. Then they could take it no more. Charlie’s rants about Chuck Lorre on a radio program hosted by Alex Jones, led Warner Bros. (the producers of the show) to fire him. Obviously, the “Winner” in Charlie was not going to take it lying down and so he turned around and slapped a USD 100 Million lawsuit on the producers. Now? Well. Wait and Watch! Remember Charlie Sheen wins here and he wins there!

Some of you must be wondering who this guy is, and why should he be found on my blog. (Check out my bloated head too.)

Here’s some information that’ll help you mingle with the elite.

About Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen is known for his exceptional acting talent. He is a man who’s got everything and who doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with it.
He is an addict! Addicted to what, you may ask.

  • Women,
  • Drugs,
  • Alcohol,
  • and Youth.

Charlie’s first three addictions are well-known – the last addiction isn’t generally talked about. Charlie is addicted to youth. When he was a child, he was blessed with eternal youth, or so he was told. When he grew up, he thought that he was going to be forever young, and so he wasted his youth chasing women of loose morals in his inebriated, drugged state. When he realized the truth, it was too late…and this made him really-charlie angry.

So now you know Charlie…right?

Let’s now talk about his personal and professional lives, which are intricately inter-woven.

Charlie Sheen’s Personal Life

It’s currently in ruins. As recently as in the beginning of March he was living with a porn-movie actress and a graphic designer…at the same time (Reminds you of those Roman Orgies, doesn’t it?) – after his third wife Denise Richards divorced him. He also has five children. Sheen is known for abusing women including his wives. He once shot his girlfriend in her arm, after which she dumped him. It goes to prove that Sheen prefers to date women who are smarter than him. He’s been an esteemed client of Madame Heidi Feiss‘s fine establishment, which is considered to be America’s best Escort Agency.

Other than his near-obsession with women and sex, he is also known for drug and alcohol abuse. Not that the man didn’t try to give it up – he did. For one whole year, he stayed clean, and then he threw a party! Well…you can guess what happened next.

Charlie Sheen’s Professional Life

He began his career as a movie actor in 1984. His career didn’t take off as well as he’d have expected but he kept on getting good roles especially in comedy movies. In 2000, Charlie rebooted his career with Television. He appeared in a sitcom called “Spin City” and he even won awards for his performance. In 2003, his career swung upwards as he appeared in the character of Charlie Harper (who’s quite like Charlie Sheen himself), in Two and a Half Men. Once again Charlie won many awards for his performance. Before he was given the boot, Charlie was earning $1.25 million per episode, which made him the highest paid TV actor ever. Believe it or not, before everything fell apart for him, Charlie asked for USD 3 Million per episode for Two and a Half Men, but his demand was refused.

Charlie on Twitter

It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Charlie also became the fastest tweeter to reach 1 Million followers. Follow him on Twitter here.
Hi bio on Twitter reads, “Born Small… Now Huge… Winning… Bring it..! (unemployed winner…)”

Charlie Sheen Quotes

(the first one says it all.)

  • Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.
  • Fame is empowering. My mistake was that I thought I would instinctively know how to handle it. But there’s no manual, no training course.
  • From my big beautiful warlock brain, welcome to ‘Sheen’s Korner’ … You’re either in my corner, or you’re with the trolls.
  • I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.
  • I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man.
  • I just didn’t believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.
  • I’m dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don’t have time for these clowns.
  • I’m bi-winning. I win here. I win there.

(Now here’s what the last quote sounds like when kids act out Charlie Sheen.)

Caricature/Cartoon – Sherlock Holmes – The Greatest Fictional Detective Ever!

Sherlock Holmes, the character was born in  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle‘s imagination. ACD was a Scottish author and doctor. The world first made acquaintance with Mr. Sherlock Holmes in Doyle’s first story, “A Study in Scarlet.” Sherlock Holmes was actively solving crimes in London, from 1880 to 1914.

Here’s the caricature of Sidney Paget‘s rendition of Arthur Conan Doyle’s hero, Sherlock Holmes.

Caricature, Cartoon, Drawing, Portrait, Sketch of Sherlock Holmes, Greatest detective ever, with a lens and a mouse - based on the drawings of Sidney Paget.

You, Sir, have been scampering through the drains of London. You have arrived at 221B Baker Street by climbing through the window of Watson’s bathroom. You are here to consult me on a matter that concerns you deeply.

Sherlock Holmes – A Biography

He was born on January 06, 1854 (the date and the year of his birth have been distilled from  different stories.) This makes Holmes a Capricorn, and from whatever I’ve gathered of sun-signs, his personality seems to match the stereotypical Capricorn. Thus, it’s rather obvious that Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock’s literal father, was deeply influenced by Linda Goodman who was born in 1925. It’s once again obvious from this, that Doyle knew how to travel through time and this is how he could meet Ms. Goodman…(or is my reasoning fallacious, Mr. ‘Olmes?)

Did Sherlock Holmes have a family?
Well. Mr. Doyle refrained from staining the personality of his objective, no-nonsense hero by talking about his family. Whether or not he had parents can’t be deduced from the stories (so we’ve got to go by our good old common-sense) but that he had a brother is evident. His brother Mycroft Holmes, according to Sherlock, was equally gifted but he didn’t bother honing his skills up. If he had bothered, we would’ve read Mycroft Holmes mysteries instead.

Did Sherlock Holmes ever fall in love?
He probably did, with Irene Adler, “the woman” who managed to outsmart  our detective genius. Otherwise, Sherlock Holmes was interested in women only when they brought him his cases. 100 years on…does it tell us that Holmes was gay?

Sherlock Holmes’ Psychology

Quoting myself…

I’ve begun to believe that if a perfectly normal person visited a psychologist, he’d come off that couch believing he had at least three major and one minor psychological ailment. Look around. Everyone gets depressed once in a while and the durations vary.

One of my aunts would get very-very angry, throw things around, and then shut herself up in her room shunning food for the entire day, until everyone grew concerned and until she had everybody’s attention. Then she would be the happiest person in the whole house. In those days, you’d call such people temperamental and let them be themselves. The lady spent a perfectly normal life, reared a son, became a grand-mother, and she now continues to harass her grand-daughter-in-laws(?) She’s 82 now, quite healthy, and would live for another 10 years! Her cool-headed practical husband, on the other hand, left for his other-worldly abode twenty years ago! Had she been taken to a psychologist, she’d be diagnosed with some or the other disorder, and she’d possibly have preceded her husband to that other world, worrying why the heck wasn’t she born normal!

But I stray from the point.

The psychologists weren’t happy analyzing and branding real people, and so they decided to determine what was wrong with Sherlock Holmes. Something has to be wrong with everyone whose a celebrity…right? I mean what could be a better way to belittle their achievements? Check out the list of celebs with syndromes here.  It makes me wonder whether to become a celebrity you need to buy yourself a syndrome.
So here’s what Holmes was diagnosed with:

Quoting from Wikipedia:
Holmes may have Asperger’s syndrome based on his intense attention to details, lack of interest in friends or a social life and tendency to speak in long monologues.

(I think that I have Asperger’s too… and all this while I thought it was so because I was an introvert! Poor me…never knowing…struggling through my miserable life without knowing what actually is wrong with me!) Also note that “a severe family trauma” could be the reason why he never trusted women. If only Holmes were real…and could defend himself.

Sherlock Holmes – Original Drawings

If I asked you to tell me whether Sherlock Holmes had a nose that was a) spherical b)Hawk-like c)Bulbous d)Snub, then chances are good that you’ll select (b) as the correct option. We have Sidney Paget to thank for visualizing and drawing Sherlock Holmes with such consistency that  even photography may fail to achieve. The image that I always carry in my head is not the one that is seen in the Sherlock Holmes movies or TV Shows, but those that are there on the pages of that hefty volume, which despite many readings, remains one of my favorite books!

My caricature of Mr. Holmes takes after Sidney Paget’s visualization.

View the Original Holmes Drawings here.

Dr. John H. Watson

Dr. Watson was Holmes’ flat-mate and friend, and he was the one who compiled and narrated his adventures. However, Holmes believed that Watson were a romantic and so he embellished the truth thus reducing its objectivity. In the stories that involve young and pretty women, Watson could be seen commiserating with them and speaking to them tenderly, much to the chagrin of Mr. Ever-grumpy Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes in Popular Culture

Arthur Conan Doyle wrote 4 novels and 56 stories around Sherlock Holmes.
The novels are as follows:
* A Study in Scarlet – the first work in which Holmes appeared – it was published in 1887
* The Sign of the Four – 1890
* The Hound of the Baskervilles – published as a serial in 1901-02
* The Valley of Fear – published as a serial in 1914-15
(Source: Wikipedia)

Professor Moriarty – the Master Villain in the Sherlock Holmes Mysteries

It’s said that Doyle created Professor Moriarty so that he could “kill” Holmes (possibly because he wanted to write something different.) He is considered (by Holmes himself) a man his equal in mind, yet someone who had turned his phenomenal powers towards evil. In the Final Solution, Holmes and Moriarty both die, yet the public forced Doyle to bring him back, which he did through the Hounds of Baskervilles set in an earlier time. The public still wasn’t happy – they wanted Holmes to be alive and well. Finally Doyle gave in and Holmes was resurrected. Moriarity had exceptional mathematical abilities…imagine that!

Other Characters in the Sherlock Holmes Mysteries:

  • Baker Street Irregulars
  • Inspector Lestrade
  • Mrs. Hudson – the Landlady
  • Inspector Stanley Hopkins

Free Downloads – Sherlock Holmes Mysteries

The Books by Arthur Conan Doyle are now in the Public Domain. You can download them from the Project Gutenberg site here.

And…if you are wondering who are the actors who’ve played the part of Sherlock Holmes in TV serials and movies…find your list here.

Karma the dog shares one of his pet peeves!

If you like dogs…

Ah well! That’s not the right way to begin. Let me try again.

If you like truthful dogs who don’t like to mince words…you’ll like Karma. I do:)

Here’s his pet peeve # 36!

The Cartoon of Comic dog Karma the K9Critic - dog, pup, canine, animal drawings.

Damn! I've got to undo what they've done!

Find Karma at the WiseK9’s blog here.

On the caricatures front, Mr. Holmes will find his way to this blog soon. I’ve also invited Charlie Sheen over and I can hear the sound of “winning” in the distance…he too should be here shortly.

New Year Resolutions – Need Help? 10 Suggestions from the Caricaturist.

This is the time when all smart people buy new diaries and write their New Year Resolutions in their best handwriting. This post is for the Resolution Drafters of the world. I wish you all a very Happy New Year in which you are able to keep all your resolutions (or at least most of those that matter.)

Here’s a list of possible resolutions that you could add to your Charter of Resolutions.

You could resolve to:

1.    Give up smoking! (once again, and hope that you’ll be able to keep this resolution for more than two days.)
2.    Make your current, ex! (And ensure that you do it just once in the New Year.)
3.    Find a New Job! (Which you’d realize becomes an old job before the year ends.)
4.    Love your spouse as much as you love your dog…or cat (and fail. Because you’d realize that this is an impossible-to-keep resolution.)
5.    Not become depressed. (Not even trying to figure out ways to contain your depression.)
6.    Give up drinking (Same as “Give up Smoking.”)
7.    Lose weight (for a fortnight, and then gain double back.)
8.    Make up with your Mother-in-Law (by sending her a card sprinkled with itching powder.)
9.    Get your first book published (and not mope when you sell three copies – bought by your mom, your sister, and your dog.)
10.    Make no more resolutions that you can’t keep!

The good news is that this List of Resolutions is re-usable! You can use it again in 2011, 2012…and so on. It’s got a forever shelf life 🙂

Wish you a Happy New Year 2011!

Announcement – Blog Carnival for Bloggers – Tell the Story-in-the-Caricature – December 2010 – Edition 7!

Header for Story-in-the-Caricature Blog Carnival Announcement December 2010

Dear visitors, bloggers made of matter as well as antimatter, and all other esteemed treasure-seekers,

The November 2010 Storytelling Blog Carnival was…well, to be honest…it had but one participating entry – so, you can’t even say that it was a carnival 😦

But let’s not worry about the past; let us charge into the future!

Here’s the caricature for the December Carnival.

Caricature, Cartoon, Color Drawing of a Sad young man sitting on the steps - Concept image for the Tell the Story in the Caricature Blog Carnival.

What's his story?

Here are the Rules for the Carnival:

1. Write a story, small or big, about this caricature.

2. Publish the story on your blog, along with this caricature.

3. Leave the link to your post, as a comment to this post here.

4. The festival ends at the midnight of December 31, 2010.

The Three Rewards for this Story Carnival:

1. All the story links added for stories published along with the above caricature, until the last date, will be published on this blog in January  2011, along with the blog-address, and a link to the About Page of your blog.

2. The blog addresses of the participating bloggers will find way into my “The Storytellers” blogroll, and of course in the Carnival posts that I make through out this month.

3. We will also request all the story-writers to publish the links of other story-writers in a blog-post on their respective blogs. This will help the story writers find more readers – but of course, this would be voluntary.

An Important Note:

This blog has absolutely no tolerance for pornography and abusive language and so any comment/story containing such material will automatically disqualify from the Carnival.

Let your creative juices flow…tell us your story 🙂

Announcement – Blog Carnival for Bloggers – Tell the Story-in-the-Caricature – November 2010 – Edition 6!

Dear Visitors, Aliens, Occasional-stopperbys, and Everyone Else in this Beautiful Virtual world,

The October Carnival ended on October 31, 2010 – on a really low note (sniff!) I guess the drawing failed to get your creative juices flowing. But two brave-hearts persisted.

Here are their stories:

Now if you are wondering why I am still keen on continuing the Blog Carnival, the answer is:  I have a lot of faith in my fellow bloggers. I know that there are many who are sitting on a gold-mine of talent (including some who’ve recently visited mine,) and that one day, I’ll come up with a caricature, which will make them want to write a fabulous story.

So, here’s the Caricature for the November Story-in-the-Caricature Blog Carnival, which I hope will inspire you to write:)

A Caricature, Cartoon, or picture of Romeo and Juliet, the characters from Shakespeare's drama, in a modern balcony scene.

O Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou?

The rules remain the same, but I am adding a new constraint.

Your story SHOULD have a Romeo and a Juliet, who are called Romeo and Juliet, respectively!

Here are the rules:

1. Write a story, small or big, about this caricature.

2. Publish the story on your blog, along with this caricature (A link to this blog would be appreciated, but it isn’t necessary.)

3. Leave the link to your post, as a comment to this post here.

4. The festival ends at the midnight of November 30, 2010 (Tuesday.)

The Three Rewards for this Story Carnival:

1. All the story links added until the last date, will be published on this blog in November 2010, along with the blog-address, and a link to the About Page of your blog.

2. The blog addresses of the participating bloggers will find way into my “The Storytellers” blogroll.

3. We will also request all the story-writers to publish the links of other story-writers in a blog-post on their respective blogs. This will help the story writers find more readers – but of course, this would be voluntary.

An Important Note:

This blog has absolutely no tolerance for pornography and abusive language and so any comment/story containing such material will automatically disqualify from the Carnival.

Waiting to hear from you, O fellow bloggers! Tell us your story!

The Trump Card – A Story by Oorvi for the October Blog Carnival!

This is Oorvi’s entry for the October 2010 Story-in-the-Caricature Blog Carnival. I am publishing it here because Oorvi is between blogs:) I shall link it to her new blog when she gives me the go-ahead for it. You can leave your comments for the story here.

Another story that this caricature has inspired, has been written by Barb. You can read the Story “Robin & Beth” here.

The last date for the 5th Story-in-the-Caricature Blog Carnival is October 31, 2010, so if you are planning to invite us into the world of your imagination, please find your notebook soon:) Read the Rules for Participation here.

The Trump Card!

(A Short Story by Oorvi)

The Day they read the Will

“This is impossible! He doesn’t have a brother,” Rita shrieked. Her shriek changed into a gasp of surprise as George’s twin Matt walked in. Matt had the same eyes, the same nose, and the same height as George, however, he was thinner by at least 20 pounds, his brows weren’t as bushy and he sported a beard. He also looked muscular and tanned, which George never did, at least not in the last eight years of her marriage with him.

Matt smiled and bowed to her. After all, Rita was his brother’s widow, and who his brother had left nothing except the clothes on her back and the paltry sum that they had in their joint account. Even the palatial house, in which she lived now, had been left to him, along with everything else that George owned. Matt was now as rich as George was when he were alive.

Rita couldn’t understand it at all. What had gone wrong? She knew that George had willed it all to her. She was sure about it. He had done it a few months before his death, and in those months, she had given him no reason to change that will. And to leave it all to this brother of his, who he never even talked about. But then the solicitor told her that after their parents had divorced, Matt’s father had taken him to live in India – and the brothers had met only a handful of times – and never after they had grown up.

But…it still didn’t make sense to Rita.

—–ooo—–

Flashback – The Night George Died

George leaned back in the plush seat of his chauffeur-driven sedan, and closed his eyes. Whenever he came home late, he made it a point to bring flowers for Rita. She loved flowers, and he loved her more than anything else in the world. As the sedan turned into the driveway, George opened his eyes, and looked past the trees, beyond that expanse of grass, and into the French-windows of his house. In the distance, he could see Rita waiting for him. His heart swelled with love for her, and a smile spread on his face. She was going to love the surprise he had for her tonight.
“Sir, we’ve arrived.”
His chauffeur’s voice broke his reverie.

Rita was there, arranging the dinner table and looking ravishing in her wine-red off-shoulder gown, with a single strand of pearls gleaming around her lovely neck. She deserves the world, he thought as he took her into his arms, before going in to change into his evening dress.

Rita had planned a quiet evening after dinner – some wine and music. The setting was just perfect for what George wanted to tell her. That evening, he didn’t want to talk business, and he didn’t even want to drink the wine. He was drunk on her beauty and all he wanted to do was tell her about the cruise that he had planned for just the two of them.

Man, woman, wine-glass - Caricature.

Rita however, wanted to talk business, and he put it all down to her love and concern for him. She didn’t trust Steve at all. Steve had joined his company around three years ago, and he was younger to him by at least a dozen years. Steve was also extremely good at cutting the bureaucratic red tape and so George valued him a lot. Though most women found Steve attractive, Rita disliked him immensely and she didn’t trust him around George. She always thought that Steve was never as good as he made himself out to be. In fact, they didn’t get along at all.

So they sat and talked, and so George never got around to talking about the surprise that she had for her.

His head felt heavy, and his limbs felt cold and numb. He could hear Rita’s voice floating in from the other room, but it appeared to be coming from a place faraway. He tried to call out to her but he couldn’t – his voice failed. With a lot of effort, he turned his head to see the clock. It looked hazy, but he managed to figure out that it was about two in the morning.

Gradually, consciousness returned to George and Rita’s voice became clearer. She was talking to someone on the phone. He tuned himself in.

He is dead! I am scared! Just come up to the house.”

“We’ve got to move fast and remove the body. This is the most important part of the plan.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know what’s there in his will. All of it comes to me – to us, I mean. And as it was an overdose of his own medicine, even if it comes to postmortem, they’d never learn the truth.”

George closed his eyes. The pain that shot through his heart made him dizzy again. His wife had tried to kill her, and she said something about a plan to dispose his body off. Suddenly the whole evening and the spell of unconsciousness began to make sense to him. He realized that he wanted to know more…and so he decided to play along. But who was the man on the other end of the phone?

“Steve, he’s dead. We don’t need to tie him up. We need it to look like an accident!”

That’s a smart woman, Steve. Listen to her, you moron, thought George. They were on the riverbank, in his car.

“Okay…okay! But what about the car?” Steve was just a pawn; Rita, his beautiful and intelligent wife, was the master strategist.

“We are going to put him in the driver’s seat, and the push the car into the river. It’ll appear as if he drove the car into the river… after he got drunk and fought with me.” said Rita.

Under Rita’s deft management, the deed was done, and the car with George in it, was safely deposited upon the riverbed. George’s consciousness had returned completely by this time; he got out and swam to the other bank. While he sat on a rock, waiting for his breath to even out, Rita and Steve drove back to his house. As he sat there, watching the lights of his wife’s car recede into the distance, he made his plan.

—–ooo—–

The Day they read the Will

George smiled as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was a new man. The pot-bellied, stressed-out George who looked like an albino fish was gone. Here was the new George – lean, tanned, athletic, and young! The last year had been good to him. Changing the will and his identity wasn’t difficult at all. Despite the strong circumstantial evidence, they couldn’t declare him dead for almost an year, as they couldn’t find a body! An year was a long time for him to straighten up the matters. He couldn’t have planned it better.

George turned and looked out of his hotel-room window. Across the street stood the eighteen-storied building of his erstwhile competitor, Cureall Drugs. For once, their unethical practices had saved a live.

He turned back and smiled at Matt in the mirror. This is who he was now, and who he wanted to be all his life.

—–ooo—–

(Author: Oorvi)